I have never been good with change. I have always hated getting rid of things or replacing the old with the new. I have been this way since I was a little kid, I held on to what was familiar and threw a fit when someone tried to intervene. I am comfortable knowing what is going to happen, being so secure in my surroundings that I know nothing is going to change.
People were surprised when I decided to go to college in DC. I am a homebody and everyone who knows me knows that. Choosing to attend a college hundreds of miles from where I spent my whole life was a huge change that amazed even me. The summer before I left for college, my outlook transformed. I was no longer scared of the idea of leaving home. Sure, I was going to be homesick, but I was presented with an opportunity to study in Washington, DC—a opportunity not everyone gets. Instead of being scared of the inevitable change this big move would bring, I embraced it. I allowed myself to let go of the things that made me comfortable and openly welcomed change.
Throughout my first year living by myself in a city where I originally knew no one, I have learned that I cannot hold on to everything I held so dearly in the past. One of my biggest fears was that my friends, who I have know for almost two decades, would move on and forget me. The fact that they we were all at different schools and they were making new friends and memories that I was not a part of destroyed me. I have learned that this is just the progression of life; friends grow apart and have new experiences without you, but that does not mean that they are not still the friend you shared a cubby with in pre-school or took naps with in your car.
I have also learned that my parents will be okay. When I first decided to go to school in DC, the guilt almost completely change my mind. For 18 years it had been just me, my mom and my dad, and now I was leaving them behind. The first couple months were the hardest for all of us. Learning how to function without two people who have been such pillars of my everyday life was painstakingly hard. I knew that I would be okay, that I would figure out a way to make it work, but I was still worried about my parents. As the year has gone on, I believe we have found a way to make it work. My parents have survived and much to my relief, it seems as if they are still living their lives to the fullest.
Change is inevitable. It will happen no matter how hard to try and stop it. Your friends will make new friends, you parents will find new ways to occupy their time, and you will change, too. In whatever new chapter of life you are starting, you will make new best friends, fall in love with new people, make new memories with fresh faces and old. Your interests will change and you will want different things. The person you were for the past 18 years will change, and you have to let it.
