If D.C. Metro Stops Were College Students
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If D.C. Metro Stops Were College Students

Please stand clear of the following stereotypes.

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If D.C. Metro Stops Were College Students

As college students in D.C., public transportation is our frenemy. You'd recognize the sweet voice of the invisible Metro train lady anywhere. But when the red line is single-tracking, and "Scream Queens" comes on in 30 minutes, you curse her under your breath. There's a story to accompany every Metro ride, whether it's a sudden stop in the middle of a tunnel, falling asleep and missing your stop, or feeling like a sardine during rush hour. Certain stops along the way begin to take on personalities, as they dictate what assortment of shenanigans you'll be getting into. There are the stops you frequent, due to their proximity to hot spots. But, what if some of WMATA's stations actually had personalities, majors, and homework?

Metro Center: The Popular Girl

Metro Center is always buzzing with people. There’s always a train there, or one about to be. She’s the center of attention, and knows everything about the most popular trends at the moment. She can be sort of a mean girl when it comes to waiting for a red line train to Shady Grove. Metro Center is the Regina George of Washington, D.C.

Union Station: The D.C. Fanatic

Union Station was the first person you knew that got an internship on Capitol Hill. He’s always tweeting about his struggles as a “Hilltern” on some social media site. His parents' friends are ecstatic for him, but his friends, floormates, and classmates are over the buzz. Frank Underwood is his celebrity crush, and above all, his idol. He also probably ran for a student government position. Whether he actually won or not is irrelevant, it was all about the campaigning.

Brookland - CUA: Good Girl Gone Bad

Brookland - CUA is the girl that grew up going to Catholic school somewhere in the Midwest. Now that she’s in college, she’s decided to make a fresh start. Her new name is Brooke, and she hangs around with all of the frat guys. From welcome week to dead week, she attended every open party she physically could. Her progression was slow, but by the end of her first semester, she boasted a well-manufactured fake ID and plenty of party fouls. Good girl gone wild, if you will.

U St/African-Amer Civil War Memorial/Cardozo: The Party Boy

This guy probably lived on your floor Freshman year. Even his RA knew that there was most likely a full bar in his mini-fridge, seeing as he proudly displayed his collection of shot glasses and cuzzis. He's a regular at some eclectic bar on U Street, and probably has a few establishments that greet him at the door with a free beer. This guy's always either the life of the party, or wicked hung over, with no in between.

Woodley Park/ Adams Morgan: The Hipster Wannabe

Adams Morgan likes to go by AdMo for short. He rocks skinny jeans, a tattered beanie, and has a Goodwill flannel draped over his old band t-shirt. He’s a coffee snob, and carries his hand-painted longboard around with him everywhere. On Friday nights, you’ll probably find him at Tryst playing with Garage Band on his MacBook Air, or strolling around Kalorama Park.

Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport: The Wanderlust Addict

She’s easily identifiable by the compass and infinity symbol tattoos on her wrists and ankles. This free-spirited wanderlust chick is obsessed with anything cosmopolitan and vintage. Her parents probably support her excursions to the ends of the earth, promoting all of her latest getaways on social media.

Smithsonian: The Amateur Photographer

Smithsonian is probably a history or international relations major. She might speak more than one language, but she'll never prove it. Her off days consist of trips down to the National Mall for some sightseeing, her handy Nikon hanging from her neck. It doesn't matter the subject of interest, she's been to all of the Smithsonians numerous times, even paying the hefty fee for the Spy Museum or Newseum. Instagrams rarely contain people, just monuments and artifacts.

Van Ness - UDC: The Quiet One

You hung out with this kid during Welcome Week and the few weeks following it. He taught you and your best friend how to play Civilization 5 and Dungeons & Dragons, but you can't remember any of the rules by now. Van Ness brought his bass guitar and amp to school, regardless of the thinly insulated cinderblock walls. You rarely see him in an extremely social setting. But when you do, he's sure to be rocking a beat-up band t-shirt.

Bethesda: The Momma's Girl

Bethesda is a sweet girl. She loves to bake, and probably plays tennis or field hockey. After deciding to go to school five miles from her home, she finds it difficult to resist the urge to visit home every weekend. She and her high school friends still hang out regularly. In fact, some of them are probably still in high school. You know Bethesda's just returning from a visit home if you see her carrying a fresh tin of her mother's cookies.

Foggy Bottom - GWU: The Future Lawyer

Ah, yes... the stereotypical D.C. college student. Foggy Bottom grew up in a privileged household, knowing very few struggles. Going to school in the nation's capitol added to his already full ego, as he pursues a law degree--just like his father. He's the guy you accidentally cut off in the quad, wrinkling his freshly pressed suit, and a week later you're notified that you've been sued. He's a great guy, so you hear, but you'd rather not get so close as to end up on his bad side.

Tenleytown - AU: Marriage Material

At the end of a long night, Tenleytown is the girl you come home to. She's the one that always has cell service, thanks to the cell towers. She's the one with your comfort food: McDonald's, Cava, Nando's, and Z Burger. All in all, she looks great in white, and won't let you down. That is, until you try to catch a red line train toward Silver Spring in less than 12 minutes.

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