Nervously waiting, anxiously shaking, we both sat in the room as my sister finished her make-up. This was a day that we both were not ready for, but it was going to happen, regardless of what I thought. I hated this idea completely.
“Today is the day, Rae! Are you excited?” I anxiously asked. I really wanted her to say no. She’s way too young for this. Why would someone at 18 want this for themselves?
“Yes, I am so ready for this.” With the biggest smile on her face and with one last swoosh of the blush brush, I knew that she meant it, but something was still off. The color of her skin began to fade to white, and her hand turned blue from the grip that she had on the brush. I didn’t ask, so I sighed and went on.
“Okay, Rae, well I am going to finish my hair and make-up. Call me if you need me.”
I was about to exit the room, when I finished my statement, and then I felt a grasp on my arm as I tried to leave. I turned back to see that tears have begun to form in Raeanne’s eyes. I turned and squatted next to her.
“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?” I asked in hopes of her telling me that she knew that this was the wrong decision, and she just wanted me to take her home.
“Are you supposed to feel like this? Ya know, on your wedding day?” The words just fell out of her mouth. And the look she gave me, I instantly knew there was a part that began to doubt everything.
“Feel like what?” I hesitantly responded.
“I don’t know how to explain it, Qass. I am so confused. I feel really nervous and nauseous, yet I am happy beyond what words can describe. And. I don’t feel confident, or even beautiful. I mean, it’s my wedding day,” Raeanne continues to wave her arms around, “I am supposed to be the opposite of this!” Raeanne sounds angry now, and she slammed her fist on the table. She tried so hard to hold back the tears that wanted to escape her small face, but it wasn’t working.
My heart dropped instantly, and I sat down next to her. “No. No. No. Don’t cry.” I put my hand on her cheek and made direct eye contact. “Raeanne, many things are going to happen after today ends. You are officially going to be a young, very young, married woman.” Raeanne rolled her eyes as I continued talking. “You are going to take on a whole new name and a new family along with the last name. You are moving away from us in December, and you are growing up. But Raeanne...” My words started to trail off. I began to break down, but I managed to hold it together.
“Qassye, I am scared. I want this more than anything in the world, but I am scared. Is this a bad thing? Is this a mistake?” Holding on to the thin air while waiting on my response, Raeanne’s tears became bigger than mine.
I wiped every single tear away, and I put her face in my palms, once more. I take a deep breath, and let the words come out. “Honestly, I am more nervous than you are about this whole ‘wedding’ thing. I still can’t face the reality. There is no chance of stopping this. I have so much to worry about, but only for the fact that you are my little sister.”
I have to stop and wipe the tears off of my cheek. “You are my 18 year old sister. I don’t need to see you hurt. You are too young for this, but you have to do what you think is best for you. I guess what I am trying to say is that, deep down, inside of me, I know that I am worried, but you have nothing to worry about.”
Raeanne is physically a mess by this point, and I cause the tension between our foreheads to increase.
“You are my best friend, and I have more faith in you than you could ever imagine. I understand that this is what you think is the best for you, just like moving out was for me. And for all of this hard work, I am very proud of you. You are teaching me things that I need to know in my own adult life. An example would be learning to have patience with people. The way you have patience with Wesley. You look more like mom every single day. Your smile is just like dad’s smile. You’re gorgeous.”
I stopped for a breath of air and a tissue. I look into the eyes of a young girl making her final transformation into a young woman. She relaxes, and she begins to put her make-up back on. I clear up the silent air with, “Thank you.” I kiss her forehead, and I make my way to the door. When I am at the door way, I take a look back and take it all in. “I can’t wait to watch you walk down the aisle beautifully and watch you marry the man of your dreams. I love you to the moon and back.” When the final word rolls off my tongue, Raeanne looks at me and mouths the words “I love you.”
I smiled back, and I closed the door. I knew she was making the best decision of her life.
