The day my life changed.

The day my life changed.

I never saw it coming.
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It was a day like no other. School was school, conversations were conversations. Life was good. And then suddenly, out of nowhere, I didn't see it coming. An ordinary day changed at the blink of my eye. 

I woke up like it was any other day. I ate breakfast, brushed my teeth, and combed my hair. I looked at my phone, smiled, and read the usual "good morning babe" text that appeared on my screen every morning at the same time. I got into my car, drove to school and arrived on time like any other ordinary day. 

The conversations we exchanged were normal conversations; "I love you", "I miss you",  phone calls and Face Time calls. "Distance doesn't phase us" was muttered from your mouth. Your voice seemed joyous, and excited, just like any other ordinary day. How lucky I was to have a boyfriend that loved me just as much as I loved him. 

The day went on like any other ordinary day. The day turned into night. We talked, we laughed, we smiled and we fell more and more in love with each other. I had an exam the next day and you told me how proud you were of me. You said, "I couldn't be more proud to call you my girlfriend". 

Every night, like this night, we talked on the phone, and fell asleep to the sound of each other's voice. When I called you, you sounded calm, happy, and ready to fall asleep like any other ordinary night. And then suddenly, out of nowhere, it happened. 

My heart began to race and tears formed in my eyes. I didn't understand the words that you were saying to me. Your lips formed, "I think we need a break" and my heart stopped. I felt like I couldn't breathe and my mind began to race. The unthinkable happened and I didn't see it coming. 

My whole body ached. My heart was broken. There was nothing I could do about it. I lay there with tears in my eyes wondering what I said wrong, what I did wrong. I felt as if my whole world was crashing down. 

I saw my future crumble in the blink of an eye. Six words. One phone call. My future and life changed. 

It was an ordinary day. 

I never saw it coming. 

Did you? 

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A Day In The Life Of A Girl Who Struggles With Anxiety

Anxiety affects different people in different ways, and does not define who they are.
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Anxiety sucks. You never know when you'll feel it but, when you do, you TRULY feel it. You may not know this, but just because it's bad at one point and some people have extreme cases, it doesn't have to be the same for everyone. Anxiety is a disorder that effects different people in different ways, and does not define who they are. Here's what my daily routine looks like in a nutshell.

I wake up, eat, go to class, do homework...just average stuff. Every day goes on as normal, or as normal as it gets. What you don't see is that I'm constantly questioning myself and overthinking the simplest of actions.

Oftentimes, I struggle to hold a conversation with someone I'm not very familiar with because I'm scared I'll say the wrong thing that'll come back and bite me in the ass, or that the other person is not genuine and that they're gonna go behind my back and say nasty things about me.

Now I know that other people's behavior doesn't have any control over how I live my life, but I'm not going to deny that it hurts me emotionally. In fact, I use that emotional pain as motivation to go out and do my best. The best revenge in life is success. If someone else feels intimidated by how well I'm doing, then I know I'm doing something right.

But to make difficult situations slightly more bearable, I surround myself with close friends and others that I trust will have my best interest in the event something goes awry. Generally though, everything works itself out without calling for desperate measures.

Contrary to popular belief, living with anxiety doesn't mean that a person is constantly living through a panic time. A few times I may experience panic attacks, but they're usually mild and go away in time. My anxiety doesn't interrupt my daily life and doesn't keep me from doing the things I love.

Whenever it starts to, I always remind myself that everything happens for a reason and just because I don't feel well in one moment, doesn't mean that I'm always going to feel that way. It usually subsides rather quickly.

I am not defined by my anxiety, and in fact having anxiety helps me be more aware of my surroundings and to be more considerate of others. Whenever someone else has an issue, I will listen to them and help them calm down. My experience allows me to be more empathetic towards people and to be of assistance to them in ways others cannot. Anxiety attacks are really uncomfortable, but they don't go on endlessly. Like Axl Rose sings, "Nothing lasts forever in the cold November rain".


Cover Image Credit: Wikimedia Commons

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You Pledged To Never Do Drugs But Now Addiction Is In The Air

This generations wave of addicts
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Can I hit that? Is that a juul? Oh my gosh, that's so cool! Can I hit that?

Do you remember the time you pledged to never do drugs in elementary school? Or maybe that time in middle school when they had the D.A.R.E assembly? You swore you would never get involved with drugs because they showed you a lung that was black from smoking cigarettes. You have seen the ads about vaping, how we think that big tobacco companies are not aiming towards kids even though they have flavors like bubblegum, cotton candy and any kind of fruits you can name.

It is often overlooked. We don't really think there is a problem, but there is. Every party is filled with clouds, the smell of sweetness is in the air. The urge to hit someone's juul is crawling around the room. It's no wonder why sickness spreads so fast on college campuses. If you have a juul, vape, or suorin, or whatever device that can blow out smoke -- you know what I mean. And not to mention all the drunk sorority girls who basically beg to get a hit. "Can I hit that?"

The addiction is literally in the air.

I never even knew what a juul or suorin was until college. I knew what vapes were but I thought they were harmless.

These things that are supposed to help people with their nicotine addiction ultimately started a whole new wave of addicts.

It's hard to resist -- I get it. Everyone around you is doing it and you think, "What is the harm in trying it once?" You start learning little tricks, how to french and ghost inhale, how to do O's, and suddenly you find yourself investing in one of these devices.

And it's not cheap. Especially if you're illegally buying it from smoke shops who don't I.D

You begin investing in these devices, constantly hitting it every so often, you don't even realize you're getting addicted. You're even addicted to the motions of putting the device to your mouth.

And of course, it's all fun and games until your nicotine level goes from a 3 to a 50. It is easy to get addicted and it seems completely harmless because there are no studies on what the long-term effects of these have.

This generation's problem is the wave of vaporized smoking devices. If you have not been a part of this wave -- you are in good standing.

If you are a part of the majority who is already addicted, there is hope for you!

It is easier said than done, but think about it. Juul pods cost a crap ton, for what, only 4? You know those go by extremely fast -- especially if you bring that to a party. Vapes itself range from $50-$300, that is if you actually get a nice one. Plus on top of that, you pay $20 for juice that burns your mouth if it leaks.

Imagine how much money you can be saving when you stop feeding your addiction.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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