A day at Disneyland can change you if, like me, you go into it full throttle: bulging backpack, double knotted Nikes, and no breaks. Let me take you on the journey of personal transformation that occurs inside all of us at the Happiest Place On Earth.
Pinocchio
After wishing upon a star for so long the Blue Fairy finally made your wish come true, and Disneyland went from an imaginary world in pamphlets to a real place.
Dug
Everything is interesting so you can't decide what to even look at, and every time you think you know what you want to do-"Squirrel!" Also like Doug the magical vibes suddenly make you want to tell everyone you love them.
Tigger
After throwing back a couple espresso shots you’re bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy fun, fun, fun, fun, fun! You sprint from ride to ride as fast just like the one and only T-I-double-“guh”errrrr would and take out anyone who gets in your way.
Gaston
Everyone’s awed and inspired by you (and it’s not very hard to see why) so you take the liberty of jumping into all of the pictures. From the Partners Statue and castle to the rides and characters, Disneyland is a giant photo-op. Curse the souls who banned the selfie-stick.
Gus Gus
After walking around for hours you're desperate to settle the rumbly in your tumbly, and silently gorge on overpriced cuisine. You're appalled by how much food it takes to fill you up, but no worries, the Disney magic takes all of the calories out of that turkey leg, churro, Dole whip, pizza, cotton candy, clam chowder, Mickey Mouse ice-cream bar, and kettle corn.
The Little Mermaid
Shopping is perfect for letting all those goodies digest, and even though you've got gadgets and gizmos a'plenty you ALWAYS want more. Sure college is important, but so is that limited edition pin and $100 tiara.
Nemo
You've been intercepted by a family reunion on Mainstreet and see your friends way up ahead already in Tomorrowland, slowly disappearing into the rocket ships. All of your phones of course are dead by this point, and the exhaustion makes everyone more like Dori than Marlin and finding you is a true adventure.
Cinderella
No matter how long you spend getting ready in the morning, by sunset you've turned back into a pumpkin with greasy hair, bags under your eyes eyes, and sunburnt shoulders.
Grumpy
You're feet are aching, the lines are long, five strollers just rammed into you, and worst of all YOU HAVE NO SNACKS. Everyone says they don't care about what to do next yet always find something wrong with ride suggestions, and choose to complain about the crowd and heat. This could be the end of all of your friendships.
Mad Hatter
You've reached the overtired phase when you can no longer control what comes out of your mouth and burst into laughter over absolutely nothing. You go through phases of "I'm going to die," "I could run a marathon," and "I wonder what life is like on Mars." Eventually you black out and somehow get back to the parking structure. This makes for interesting conversations on the car ride back, especially if like me you have to stay alive enough to drive two and a half hours back to Santa Barbara. Where's a magic carpet when you need one.
Sleeping Beauty
When you finally get to bed it feels like your floating on a cloud to Neverland, and the second you hit the pillow you're in such a deep slumber even true love's kiss won't wake you.
By the time you wake up you're ready to do go back to Disneyland and do it all over again.
