Fathers: the one person boys fear more than anybody else. But what’s one step up from their own fathers? A girl’s father. The person they feel they need to impress more than the girl herself. The muscle, the macho, the man of the house. Fathers are the almighty protectors of their sweet little angels. The guardians of lovely girls who can do no wrong, who will forever stay young and pure, and whose heart can only be won if a man can prove his true worth. Can he prove his true worth? Is he supposed to be a Disney prince? Is the kid from Econ supposed to slay a dragon or something? It seems like dads get so protective over their daughters’ love lives. It’s hard for some girls to even look at guys without getting disapproving glances from dads. “Daddy’s little girl” shouldn’t have to be treated little as a grown woman.
Everyone can understand that dating long ago wasn’t really a thing. There were families meeting, there was courtship, there were arrangements, and men were still in complete control of households. We’re in a modern age. You can find a date (or hook-ups) with a swipe of a finger. There are apps that cater specifically to sexual orientations. So why, in the age of technology and casual coffee dates, is it so hard for men to let go of their daughters?
I get it, no one can replace your child. Dads, giving into their protective fatherly nature, feel the need to look out for their girls; because, I guess, society is still teaching that girls are weaker or can’t look out for themselves. Girls are perceived as inferior to boys, and some dads feel the need to continually play on this. Instead of teaching their daughters how to be strong and independent from a young age, and know how to spot lousy boys and lousy boy behaviors, they protect them… from every boy.
The thing with growing up is learning how to date. I understand parents who won’t let their kids date until 15 or 16, but getting past that, it’s important to learn how to interact with people on a romantic level. Becoming a young adult, it helps to have somewhat of an understanding of what dating is like. You have to get an idea of the kind of person you want in your life and you’ll need to learn how to spot red flags early on. Dating, and even marriage, is all about learning. When you’re young and new to dating, you’ll make mistakes until you fine tune things a little - and even then, stuff happens sometimes. If dads are going to keep their daughters locked away and prevent them from dating, how will girls know heartbreak? How will they know how to find a decent guy if they can’t even be pointed in the right direction? Some girls go behind parents’ backs and secretly date boys parents disapprove of - and, yeah, some of it might be rebellion - but when you shelter a girl from interacting with guys and the possibility of dating, they can hit the ground running at the first opportunity and make a huge mistake.
College has plenty of casual dating. It’s meeting people in bagel shops between classes, grabbing burritos on weekends, and watching sports games and eating wings in the evening. All of those scenarios are dates I’ve had with different people. Those were first and only dates. That’s part of growing up, is being able to casually meet someone to get a feel for who they are and their potential. Eventually, it leads to finding somebody worth dating. Everyone should have standards for a significant other. It’s how you find those people worth dating. But the dads who set ridiculous standards for daughters, who are judgmental all the time, and who disapprove on ludicrous grounds, they make it hard for girls to feel comfortable in their own relationships. They’ve been taught to fear guys and their intentions. It’s not healthy or loving to completely dictate who someone spends time with or over exaggerate a group of people who they will most definitely interact with on a regular basis. It’s controlling.
Daughters are people, not property. They’re not Disney princesses who are forced to live in towers until Price Charming comes along and shows he is worthy. They aren’t meant to be hidden and protected. Daughters need to be taught they are independent and powerful. You should not have to teach heartbreak to little girls so they won’t have to experience it on their own. A father can say she’s “Daddy’s little girl” until he’s blue in the face, but she can’t be little forever. Girls are meant to grow and learn. They need to mature and express themselves. Taking selfies in sweatshirts and pretty make-up isn’t “sexy,” it’s normal (looking at you, dad who mocks his daughter’s selfies). To dads who think those selfies are “too sexy,” you’re just too protective. Let your daughters learn, let them experience. They might not be little girls anymore, but they’ll always be your daughter.
