Like many people, when one relationship ends, I stayed single for a while until I grew tired of it and went looking for another significant other. It became a failing cycle that never ended until I decided I had had enough. Like anyone else, I find dating to be hard- like really hard. Plagued from one bad relationship to another, I struggled to find a significant other that was a good fit for me. After years of one failed relationship the next, I finally discovered the secret to finding a great relationship- dating yourself.
After my last failed relationship, I decided to figure out why it wasn't working with multiple people.
Dating myself forced me to figure myself out. What my hobbies were, what my taste in music was, what foods I liked, etc. Previously, I was dependent on someone else to get me out of the house. I found that dating myself forced me to be comfortable with myself enough to do things alone, like grab dinner.
Something else that dating myself taught me was that happiness comes from within. I found that I was so dependent on making someone else happy that I wasn't happy if I wasn't making someone else happy, when I learned to make myself happy, my life began to be a lot easier.
While dating myself, I learned to love myself- flaws and all. I learned that the things I thought people didn't like about me were actually just things that I didn't like about myself. Over time, I began to become content with the things I didn't like about myself and realized that other people didn't care about them as long as I didn't.
Overall, the most important thing I got out of dating myself was this.
I got to know myself and enjoy my own company. I learned what was important to me, I learned what I liked and didn't like in people, I learned that I didn't need to do everything with other people, I learned that I enjoyed myself for who I really was.
If you're struggling to find a lasting relationship, my advice is this. Date yourself for a little. Fall in love with yourself again (or for the first time). Learn to be alone, learn to be independent, and respect your values and morals. At first, this may not be easy (especially if you were someone like I was and very dependent on the acceptance of others), but when you find a love for yourself stronger than any man or woman, you appreciate yourself more and develop self confidence. Once you love yourself, you'll understand the type of love you need to sustain a lasting relationship
If you don't like yourself, how do you expect someone else to?
