For most of us, dating in high school is a very casual experience. You might hold hands in the hallways in between classes or see the occasional movie on a Saturday night, but no matter how close and in love you feel, things have a tendency to change once you get to college. That’s when the real dating experience begins. No more parent-supervised car rides to dinner, or sneaky text messages during class. Once you hit college, the dating world gets serious, and how your relationships play out is up to you and your partner(s). College is a period of time filled with lots of growth and personal development. You start to gain a true understanding of the person that you’re going to be for the rest of your life. For me, that realization, especially when it comes to my relationships, has come from God.

Now, I’m not the type of person who believes in strictly dating people who share your religion, because that would be extremely limiting, but I do still believe that when it comes to my relationships, God has one of the most important roles in making sure that I’m with someone who is good for me in every aspect. I may feel like I’m in control of choosing my own partner, but at the end of the day, God is going to show me the signs to see whether or not this person is truly what I need. In the year and a half that I’ve been in college, there have been many instances where I’ve found myself in situations where I’ve developed strong feelings for someone whom I had my reservations about, but it wasn’t until God was ready for me to confront those reservations was I able to figure that out.

Not being in a relationship in high school wasn’t such a big deal. I could see couples making out at their lockers or holding hands in the hallways and I didn’t think much about it because I was a lot younger and more focused on trivial things, like whether or not my mom was going to let me get an iPhone before I graduated. Now that I’m in college, it’s a lot harder to overlook the fact that just about everyone around me is getting married, having a baby, or even just posting cute couple pictures on social media. I can’t say that I necessarily feel jealous, but there is something inside of me that makes me want to experience those types of relationships. I’ve been in relationships before, but never one where I’ve felt comfortable enough to be super public about it, with good reason. Seeing all of these cute couples around me does make me want to go out and seek a relationship, but whenever I start to feel that way I remind myself that the Lord is in control and just like it has happened before, when the time comes for me to be in a relationship, he will let it happen, This doesn’t stop me from going out on dates or talking to cute guys whenever I feel like it, but it does mean that a serious relationship won’t be forced out of my need to post cute pictures on social media.

Letting God be in control of my dating experience doesn’t mean that I’m going to just sit around waiting for the right many to drop out of the sky and into my lap, but what it does mean is that when I feel as though God is trying to show me something about someone, I will take it in and I will listen. It also means that I’m going to pray about my relationships, not just the romantic ones, and I’m going to ask God to give me the strength and the ability to remove myself from situations that might be unhealthy. Dating with God in mind, at least for me, does not mean sitting around and being idle but rather using the faith that the Lord has instilled upon me to guide me through my relationships until I find that special person. As much as I might want that discovery to happen right now, I know that it will happen when God sees that I’m ready. There’s a good chance that it might not even happen in college, and that’s completely okay. Dating God’s way may not be the right way for everyone, but I’ve decided that it’s the right way for me.