When I first met my boyfriend we were sitting in our college freshman seminar class going around stating our names and where we were from. Sounds childish, I know, but I go to a small private school where the biggest class size is 60 students and the professors learns each student’s name. When the time came for my boyfriend to introduce himself, he said his name and expressed that he was from LA. In my mind I took that as California not Louisiana, which is where he is actually from. At first, not going to lie, I was shocked. Why in the world was someone from the south going to school in Minnesota? However, after being together for over 7 months, I am so glad he found his way up here.
Being from the north, my boyfriend and I tend to have things we don’t see eye to eye on but that only forces us to talk more and try to see where the other person Is coming from. Though our values are the same our methods are not and because of that a lot of compromises have had to be made.
We were both raised very differently and I remember feeling so nervous to meet his family because I was afraid they wouldn’t like me due to the fact that I didn’t say “Ma’am or Sir” and I didn’t call people “Mr. and Mrs.” I was scared they would look at me and not think I was respectful. This fear reemerged when I traveled down to Louisiana to meet his friends and some more family. It taught me to be confident in myself and to know and trust that my parents had raised a respectful young woman. I didn’t need to say “ma’am or sir” in order for people to like me, I just had to be myself.
Another difference arose when we began to talk about our childhoods. I was not raised with my parents “whipping” me, and I often found myself getting very upset when he would tell me about the times he had been whipped. I would sit there and cry as he told me and it was hard not to want to hate the people who did it to him. It was also just as hard not to keep my mouth shut at times when I was visiting and would hear people talk about whipping their children. I was sick to my stomach yet knew it was just how the south was. You could say it was a big culture shock and I was forced to learn that sometimes you just have to smile and wave.
The last thing I have learned from dating someone from the south is, there truly is such a thing as a southern gentleman. His mother and grandparents did a wonderful job raising a respectful and kind young man. He is not my first boyfriend, but his is far different than any I have ever had before. He treats me like a queen, always opening the door for me, whether that’s the car door or the door to my house and always paying for EVERYTHING, and I mean everything. Some may find it annoying or sexist but it is how he was raised and I see his grandfather do the same things. At first it was hard to get use to I felt bad and I felt like I wasn’t contributing equally to the relationship, but I soon realized that it wasn’t a chore for him but rather something he wanted to do, it gave him a sense of pride and accomplishment. The smile he gets on his face when he takes me out on a date is a smile I will cherish forever and could never imagine it any other way.
Dating someone from the south has defiantly been a challenge at times but it has also given me more than I could ever imagine. I have gained a loving family, who treats me as their own and I have been able to meet so many wonderful people. Finally, I have also grown so much more as a person and can also say I have a new found love and appreciation for the south.
