dating someone with a mental illness | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

My Boyfriend Made Me Feel Loved When I Found It Hard To Love Myself

I realized someone can still love me despite my mental illness.

670
My Boyfriend Made Me Feel Loved When I Found It Hard To Love Myself
Photo credit: Charlotte Kurz

I was diagnosed with my first mental illness when I was 20. I saw my doctor, started taking meds, and briefly did some therapy before returning to college for my junior year. I met my now-boyfriend the first weekend back, and we instantly clicked. things were so easy. They just felt right.

The only problem was that I was terrified to tell him that I was struggling; that I was setting up appointments at the counseling center and with a psychiatrist. My friends at the time tried to talk me into keeping my anxiety a secret, that it would be too much baggage and that he'd want to leave when he found out I wasn't "perfect."

I decided to tell him anyway. He was so completely understanding it took my breath away. He walked me to my first counseling appointment, holding my hand and introducing himself to my therapist. I couldn't believe that I had this amazing guy who not only wanted to be with me, but also was so supportive of my struggles. I felt really lucky.

Things were not always easy, especially in the beginning when I really didn't have the words to speak about how I was feeling. There were many nights where I just cried, and he sat with me, so patient, even though he didn't really understand what I was going through. There have been times that we've gotten frustrated with each other because he can't help me if he "doesn't know what's going on." And yet, he never once left or made me feel more alone.

I think our communication has improved tenfold since I've been in therapy and treatment. We've both come to realize that he doesn't have to totally understand what's going on to be supportive, and I've come to recognize that he's my person, and telling him what I feel and what I need isn't a burden.

Through my most recent relapse this past winter, I really saw just how challenging and straining mental illness can be on a relationship. I was so scared to tell anyone besides my treatment team that I was struggling, so I kept things a secret from my boyfriend. He obviously was more intuitive than that, though, and knew I was having a hard time again with food. He'd call or text me throughout the day, asking if I'd had breakfast, what I had for lunch, how my day was going. This kind of gentle support made the biggest difference, where I felt like I wasn't alone, and I knew I had someone to keep me accountable to my recovery.

There are still the hard days. I think the most challenging part of dating with a mental illness is realizing that someone else can love you deeply, even if you're having a tough time loving yourself. This extends through my eating disorder, which constantly tells me I'm not good enough for anyone and that my body is not attractive to anyone, especially my partner.

Nick has been the best partner in crime through my recovery, assuring me that my eating disorder is lying to me and that he can love me enough for both of us, while I'm working on getting there myself. I know that my mental illnesses aren't the easiest to deal with, but I think we've become a stronger team because of everything we've conquered--together.

Three years later, I'm happily in love with this wonderful human, and in the best place mentally that I've ever been in. I don't think that's a coincidence, and for all of the support always, I am beyond thankful.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Gilmore Girls
Hypable

In honor of Mother’s Day, I have been thinking of all the things my mom does for my family and me. Although I couldn’t write nearly all of them, here are a few things that moms do for us.

They find that shirt that’s right in front of you, but just you can’t seem to find.

Keep Reading...Show less
Relationships

10 Reasons To Thank Your Best Friend

Take the time to thank that one friend in your life you will never let go of.

2269
Thank You on wooden blocks

1. Thank you for being the one I can always count on to be honest.

A true friend will tell you if the shirt is ugly, or at least ask to borrow it and "accidentally" burn it.

2. Thank you for accepting me for who I am.

A best friend will love you regardless of the stale french fries you left on the floor of your car, or when you had lice in 8th grade and no one wanted to talk to you.

Keep Reading...Show less
sick student
StableDiffusion

Everybody gets sick once in a while, but getting sick while in college is the absolute worst. You're away from home and your mom who can take care of you and all you really want to do is just be in your own bed. You feel like you will have never-ending classwork to catch up on if you miss class, so you end up going sick and then it just takes longer to get better. Being sick in college is really tough and definitely not a fun experience. Here are the 15 stages that everyone ends up going through when they are sick at college.

Keep Reading...Show less
kid
Janko Ferlic
Do as I say, not as I do.

Your eyes widen in horror as you stare at your phone. Beads of sweat begin to saturate your palm as your fingers tremble in fear. The illuminated screen reads, "Missed Call: Mom."

Growing up with strict parents, you learn that a few things go unsaid. Manners are everything. Never talk back. Do as you're told without question. Most importantly, you develop a system and catch on to these quirks that strict parents have so that you can play their game and do what you want.

Keep Reading...Show less
friends
tv.com

"Friends" maybe didn’t have everything right or realistic all the time, but they did have enough episodes to create countless reaction GIFs and enough awesomeness to create, well, the legacy they did. Something else that is timeless, a little rough, but memorable? Living away from the comforts of home. Whether you have an apartment, a dorm, your first house, or some sort of residence that is not the house you grew up in, I’m sure you can relate to most of these!

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments