Am I Waiting Too Long To Find A Spouse?
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College Gives Me Enough Deadlines, My Dating And Family Life Don't Need Deadlines Too

I have so much time to just be and experience who I am and who I want to become.

College Gives Me Enough Deadlines, My Dating And Family Life Don't Need Deadlines Too

Lauren Barnette

Growing up in our society, it is more than easy to feel the pressure to find a spouse and start a family young. Many people start right out of high school, and others get married or engaged in college and follow suit shortly after graduation. There are millions of memes about anyone over the age of 22 who's still single, how if you don't find a partner by 25 you're destined to be a step-parent, etc. But why? Why do we need to put a time limit on love, life, or happiness? If you would've brought up the topic three years ago, I would wholeheartedly agree that I wanted to get engaged in college, and be married with children soon after- but boy has that changed.

As I have experienced more life and gotten to know myself as just myself; not myself as ______'s girlfriend, fiancé, anything; I have realized how ridiculous it is to put another deadline on my life. I have so much time to just be and experience who I am and who I want to become without worrying about impressing a partner or producing more humans to worry about instead of letting me be my main focus. Love will come in one form or another, and if the forms of love that are present today are not permanent fixtures in my life- that is okay! I am learning and living and becoming me. There is no reason to think that if I don't reach some society goal or milestone before I have obtained a certain number of years that I won't be happy or have a good life.

As far as a family goes, I am enjoying being the only one I need to care for right now. If the time comes for me to have babies, I will spend time thinking about that when it happens. The only deadline I am giving myself at this point in my lifeline is to find something that makes me happy every day- whether that be a song that played on the radio, a compliment someone gave me, or even feeling good about something I said to someone else or saw happen between other people. As long as I can find at least some positive every day, I am content with where my life is at that moment. A husband or wife may come along one day, or maybe a long term partner without legalities- and maybe I will never find my "one" true person but instead have many meaningful relationships throughout my lifetime. All I have to do is wait and see what is in store!

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