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Relationships

Finding Love On A Dating App Is Hard, And These 10 Fatal Flaws On Men's Profiles Make It Even Harder

Liking "The Office" is not a personality trait. Next.

lexisbyrda

Mar 18, 2019

University of North Carolina

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Finding Love On A Dating App Is Hard, And These 10 Fatal Flaws On Men's Profiles Make It Even Harder

https://unsplash.com/photos/imiXX93U8Po

Dating apps are super popular, but wow can they be disappointing. Mostly, I suppose, if you happen to be interested in men.

The past week or so, I've used Bumble to do a sort of scavenger hunt for the best dating app clichés, and boy has it been rewarding. Below are just a few of the dating app faux pas and overused profile boosters I've noticed so far.

1. The Michael Scott

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It's not rare for a man's bio to literally just be a Michael Scott quote. Most frequently, one of these:

1. "I want people to be afraid of how much they love me."

2. "'You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.' -Wayne Gretsky" - Michael Scott

Insert any other Michael Scott quote, though, honestly. We get it. You, like most other people, enjoy "The Office."

2. The Height Bio

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"6'1." I mean, it's kind of sad. Is that his only character trait? That he's tall? Tell me something that isn't optically obvious.

3. The Vine Guy

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"I quote too much from Vine." Okay, we all love and miss Vine. But everyone can quote Vines. Impress me. Your profile is like your dating resume—you gotta step up your game.

4. The One-Pic Wonder

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Oh, silly us, hoping for actual information about this man. His whole profile is just his name, his age, and a photo. Thank goodness I can deduce our compatibility just from looking at one vague, badly-angled selfie.

5. The Friend

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We've all seen it. The guy who says, "Just here for friends." This is? A dating app? Buddy?? And anyway, Bumble offers both Bumble Date and Bumble BFF. If that's what you want, you can literally just...use the friend one.

6. The Dog Trick

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The classic, "Yes, you can pet my dog." Do I want to pet his dog? Yes. But if a dog is all he has to offer, I'm not sure it's enough. Stop depending on your innocent doggo to help you score a date.

7. The Mugshot

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I mean you don't have to hire a professional photographer for the pictures on your dating profile, but why does it look like your only option was to download your inmate photos from the local police department's website? This ain't it, chief.

8. The Jim Halpert

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We just keep coming back to "The Office," don't we? Every man on a dating app fancies himself your average, everyday Jim Halpert.

This is made evident through his bio, which inevitably says, "Just a Jim looking for my Pam," or, much to my amusement, "Just a Jim Halpert looking for my Dwight Schrute."

I'll admit the second one is funny (albeit overused), but please. Only John Krasinski can claim to be Jim. Next.

9. The Group

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Oh, the dreaded profile that is exclusively group photos. This isn't a game of "Where's Waldo," pal. Who are you?

10. The Anti-Bio

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You've probably seen the guy who makes his bio, "I suck at bios." I don't know anything about you, then. If you can't do any better than that, it's a no from me.

So anyway, I guess that's why men's dating profiles all start to blend together after a while. They're really out here saying things like, "I just want a girl who's unique," while their profiles are endless repetitions.

I didn't choose to like men, but it's a fate I've been forced to accept. Best of luck in your own journeys to find love, single guys, gals, and non-binary pals.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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25 Beatles Lyrics: Your Go-To Guide for Every Situation

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Recommended for you

Finding Love On A Dating App Is Hard, And These 10 Fatal Flaws On Men's Profiles Make It Even Harder

Liking "The Office" is not a personality trait. Next.

1. The Michael Scott

2. The Height Bio

3. The Vine Guy

4. The One-Pic Wonder

5. The Friend

6. The Dog Trick

7. The Mugshot

8. The Jim Halpert

9. The Group

10. The Anti-Bio

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The Best Lines from the Fab Four

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all I got to give if you say you'll love me too. I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you. I don't care too much for money. Money can't buy me love

All you need is love, love is all you need

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

Obviously the best superpower.

There have been many lessons learned.

1. The importance of traditions.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

3. How to give back.

4. What the word "community" really means.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

10. How to work for what I want.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

12. How to be humble.

13. To be well-rounded.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

16. To be prepared for anything.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

18. How to be creative.

19. To brush off gossip.

I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

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