As time moves on and our cultures change, it's becoming increasingly common to see couples with large age gaps. There is a clear time shift, as it was very common centuries ago for young girls to marry much older men. Once women became more independent citizens that didn't need well-established husbands, people were more free to marry whomever they chose. For a long time, this tended to be people of the same age. Your grandparents are probably very close in age. The generation before us, however, started having more variance in the age disparities of couples. Many people's parents are quite a few years apart. My own parents have a 10 year difference. Why is our culture shifting back towards large gaps?
While I don't have hard answers, I do have some statistics and opinions. In a 2014 article about divorce rates and their relation to age gaps, the New York Post reported some eye-opening statistics. With a meager one year age difference, there is a rough 3 percent chance of divorce. If you have a five year gap, that percentage increases to 18 percent. With a 10 year disparity, the percentage becomes 39. If the gap is 20 years, that number jumps to an astounding 95 percent. This doesn't bode well for those that date well above or below their own age.
So with doom and gloom statistics and plenty of stigma, why do people still do it? The "two year rule" and the "half your age, plus seven" are both preached so heavily that you'd think no one in their right mind would ever test the limits of age in romance. Still, many people seek older partners for maturity. Especially among people in their late teens and early twenties, it is common to grow tired of the usual immature clientele and seek an older partner. The traditional girl dating older guys has now expanded to include guys that seek older females.
In LGBTQ+ communities, it is even more common to see large age gaps. For one thing, the community is smaller. There are less people your age to choose from, if you're queer. I, personally, have already burned through several of my very limited male options on my small campus in just my first year. Finding men my age is becoming increasingly difficult. I did end up seeing a man much older than me, but I didn't realize the gap until after the fact. While I try not to discriminate based on age, I definitely think that people should be forward about their age. If there's going to be a significant difference in age, I feel like it should be addressed and accepted from the start.
When it comes to flipping the coin and discussing people that date well below their own age, I'm afraid I don't have a personal opinion. As a nineteen-year-old, the concept is foreign to me. I searched for answers, but most articles were from unreliable sources and only showed the perspective of men dating younger women. This concept, my friends, will remain a mystery, for now.
So if you decide to indulge in an older or younger partner, be forewarned. I think that if you're with them for the right reasons, there's no reason you can't work things out with them. If there is a gap, definitely talk about it early in the relationship so that it doesn't cause problems later. Also, for goodness' sake, please don't lie about your age.
