My best relationship of my life has been with someone that I met online.
I used to associate online dating with that happy old man from eHarmony, promising love to old people. So when I signed up for these sites at 18 years old, I felt pretty pathetic to say the least. But it seemed like the easiest (and less scariest) way to meet someone at the time, seeing as how I was pretty shy and sucked at flirting. At school, I would cup my hands around phone screen because I was so afraid of someone catching me using the app and giving me a questioning look.
But I went on them anyway, because I was tired of playing the same relationship game. I wanted honesty. I wanted realness. I wanted someone who wouldn't waste my time with petty rules like waiting to text back for hours to seem like your busy. Someone who I could really be myself with, and who I knew I wouldn't be played with.
The apps work, well, most of them. Obviously, there are those apps, like tinder, who’s users have different motives, and some people will just use them to get photos out of you. So don't swipe right just to swipe right; be picky about who you're talking to, just how you would be in person.
I used plenty of fish, which rates your top matches by percentages. Number two on my top matches was my soon-to-be boyfriend. After a four hour Skype call and one of the most unique dates that I've ever been on, I realized that I had so much in common with this person that I had never met ever, but who I realized was in the same boat as me. We both wanted a relationship, and we both had the same opinions about today’s dating world and how complicated it can be.
When people ask me how I met him, I used to say “at a party” or “he was sitting next to me in my stats class and we just clicked.” Now I tell the truth. Yes, I get people that laugh or who ask “how was that?” or just “why?”. But I am happy and confident enough in my relationship that I don't care what people think, and if it works for you too, then you shouldn't either.
Of course, there are safety precautions that need to be taken when you're meeting a total stranger from the internet. Do a video chat with your potential date. As much as you get along with them over text, you don't want to end up being catfished or kidnapped. And make sure you meet them in a public place and have one of your friends or family members track your phone. The horror stories of online dating only come from those who weren't careful.
It's been a year and a half since I met him. a year and a half of laughing, crying, adventures, fights, and growing as partners. We are honest with each other, we don't post our relationship on social media because we aren't together to show that we aren't lonely. We love each other because it works and because we have helped each other be the best person that we could be. So yes, I met someone online. but honestly? I wouldn't have it any other way.
It’s okay to date online.
