You know the one I'm talking about. The quiet, bashful guy who sits in the back of the class. The one with long, kind of greasy hair that just tugs at your heart strings as it mattes over his forehead. This boy has been the object of your desire since middle school, yet you've never taken the leap to ask him out. Well, you bashful, teenage girl you, let me tell you just some of the benefits in dating the boy who's a gamer.
1. He Enjoys Just Hanging Out At Home
Relaxing in the basement is definitely one of this guy's favorite pastimes, because he knows that sometimes it's the simple, non-complicated dates that are the most romantic. Just boot up some Netflix, kick back with some popcorn, and I'll be over here with some Halo. Yeah I'm watching the movie too, I know how to multitask. Just give me a few more minutes and this game will be over.
2. He Knows What It Means To Commit
Only the real gamer knows how to buckle down and commit to a team dynamic, because if I quit this game people are going to send me nasty messages and I might get banned from the server. Seriously can you just shut up for two seconds and let me play, my K/D is dropping right now and if I don't get into diamond tier by tonight I won't qualify for the playoffs. What do you mean you don't understand, what's so confu- no, you know what, just watch Netflix and we'll talk later.
3. He Likes To Keep It Real
This guy knows what it means to not sugarcoat the truth. Like if you're standing in front of the TV, he'll let you know to move out of the way. I mean, you have to move right now because if you don't WAIT C'MON MOVE NOW OH GREAT I GOT KILLED. ARE YOU FOR REAL RIGHT NOW JESUS YOU COULDN'T JUST TAKE TWO STEPS TO YOUR RIGHT? NO IT'S NOT JUST A GAME I NEEDED TO STAY ALIVE SO I COULD GRAB ROCKETS DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?
4. He Listens To What You Have To Say
Oh man are you crying now? Look, just tell me what's wrong and we can work through this. You think I don't pay attention to you? Uh, what am I doing right now? Maybe you're the one that doesn't pay attention, ever think about that? Like I was sitting here, getting ready to grab rockets when they spawned, and then you had to walk in front of the TV. If you paid attention to ME, you would notice that I was in the middle of a game. No, I can't "just pause" it, it's online. Do you even know what this is? What my interests are?
5. He Won't Lead You On
You know what, maybe this just isn't working out for us. I mean, you've got some boring desk job, I'm an aspiring pro gamer, we're just in two different places in our life right now. What? You think that you're way out of my league? Well I mean, I don't mean to be that guy, but you'd probably start in bronze tier at best. And that's the lowest tier. Sooooooooo yeah.
6. He Makes Decisions For The Good Of The Relationship, Not Himself
Alright, you're really starting to bum me out. Look, can you tell my mom that we're done? She liked you better than my last girlfriend anyway, just let her down easy. And let her know that we don't need to get half Hawaiian on that pizza anymore. Yeah, you should probably leave before that comes, and yes we only got the Hawaiian for you. That shit's gross.
7. He's The Most Loyal Guy You'll Ever Meet
Well, looks like it's just you and me again old girl. You'll never leave me. You know what my likes and dislikes are. What I enjoy doing. No woman is ever going to come between us again. It's you and me from now until the end. I've just never met anyone else like you before. It's hard to describe. I have this funny feeling deep within me that I've never felt before. I think, I think I lov-
Oh shit next game started.
