I can still remember the bright yellow bow atop the gift my aunt gave me the Christmas I was twelve. It was big and sparkly, and as soon as I took it off, I put it on my head and danced around, feeling absolutely regal wearing something so lovely. Inside the gift wrap was a t-shirt and leggings, tie-dyed from top to bottom in rainbow colors. I was absolutely delighted, and I put the outfit on immediately, then skipped around and sang a song of my invention, making my aunt laugh her head off.
Finally, when I was worn out and collapsed onto the bed she was sitting on, she looked at me and said, “I want you to know that you should never stop being completely and totally you. You may not always be exactly what society expects, but you never owe anyone an explanation for who you are. Just remember that, okay?”
That night, her words were kind, but did not carry overwhelming resonance. Over time, however, I found myself referring back to what she said, and her advice became more and more meaningful. I watched my peers and my friends alter their appearances and personalities in order to fit in throughout junior high, and then later succumb to pressures they hoped they would never encounter during high school. I, myself, started to hate the parts of me that made me different from what was considered normal, and I did everything I could to fit the frame laid out for me. I went through a phase at age 13 where I straightened my hair, bought makeup, and even got my eyebrows waxed for no reason other than the fact that a bunch of my friends had, and I didn’t want to be left out.
I now have come to realize the weight of all the expectations society places on people, and all the labels which tend to define and divide individuals. I have reflected more and more on my aunt’s advice, and I treasure it. These days, I have come to love the characteristics that make people unique, and the parts of myself that set me apart. I believe it takes courage to stand up against the majority, or speak out with a new idea. I love the concept that no one needs to explain why they are who they are at their core.
Somehow, as humans, we have come to rely on normality. So many of us resort to living in the way expectations teach us to live, but why must those ideas alone be accepted? I’m comforted by the simple truth that I am allowed to be unexpected. I was born with individual thought, and I possess the freedom to embrace it. I’m allowed to believe in magic, to hold on to something that doesn’t make sense, to be daring, and to question the known, as well as the unknown. I am allowed to do things differently. I am allowed to be these things simply because I am, and I owe the world no explanation.
