As a student in college, I have heard all the dreams and plans every student has for their future. It is honestly so fun to hear all of my friends and classmates explode with excitement about how they know their place in this world. As I listen and try to stay up to date with these conversations, obviously the question pops up of what I want to do in the future. That's when the conversation goes downhill.
As a college student, I am one person who dares to say that I have absolutely no idea what I want to do with my future. The conversation turns into people being honestly surprised or trying to help. For me, help from others is the last thing I want. I'm already confused so I don't need any more ideas. It's also embarrassing at times for my friends to be telling me what I could do with my life because they actually have the time to think about my life for they already know their purpose. I have no clue. I have no clue what I am here for. I have no clue what my purpose is in life and for me, that's greatly terrifying.
I have been contemplating the possibilities for my future for so long and I still end up with the same thing. A list of endless possibilities. I mean I guess it's not that bad to have the choices many people don't think of doing because they're not as curious as me, but still it makes the anxiety real. Being curious is a beautiful trait to have that still has drawbacks. Curiosity makes the process of finding possible career paths a daunting experience. I'm supposed to be finding possibilities, but that's not exactly easy. Deciding my future is too hectic. My mind feels like a complete disaster trying to figure out what I might like best for my career.
My curiosity never fails to take me on the adventure of a lifetime. It always adds more and more possible careers to the list. I never know when it will write another idea down. I also never know when it strikes one off the list. I've got a big fire brewing inside me because I have so much passion for so many things and this scares me. I have too many interests and so much more things I want to learn about. All I can think about is what I could do to help myself narrow things down.
What I've been figuring out is that it's okay to be scared out of my mind. College is supposed to be a time of figuring things out about the world. Not just the world around us, but also the world within us. Doesn't matter what year you are in college, you are still figuring out yourself and your world. Don't be afraid to be scared of your future because you will figure it out eventually.
