I danced with the darkness last week.
The days were cold and the nights
were filled with humid, empty streets.
The air was heavy, I could not
lift it. I was afraid of falling,
but the darkness and I, we danced,
and it was
a strange, smooth, foul melody.
I met the shadows and they whispered
stories. They crawled thick on the air
and stayed, even though I didn't want them to.
They asked if I knew about doom.
They reminded me of all the books
I haven't read and the moments when
my words weren't good enough to explain
what needed to be unwound.
They turned my life into a kaleidoscope
of darkness, a spiderweb of failure
and the words "not smart enough".
The shadows whispered to me
and my jealousy, and the darkness
held out it's hand to dance.
I danced with the darkness
and it taught me to confuse the
truth with lies.
Now spiderwebs lace my mind.
I danced with the darkness
and cursed it.
Desperate I chased a glint in
the night and when I found
it, only a piece of glass,
I clutched it still until my
hands were cracked with blood.
The shadows laughed
and caused me to doubt
that any light had reflected
on the broken shard at all.
Reminded me how possible it was for
me to simply be seeing
things because I needed to.
The darkness took my hand
gently, and asked me why I was
fearful of the night. It told me
the light I sought - that hope -
was untrue, a mystery, a story.
Swore to me that the fact I had
experienced the light was nothing more
than a dream. It was easy to believe,
in those broken streets with my bloodied
hands.
The shadows were reassuring and
kind, they led me gently and spoke
sweetly, away from the light.
And then I ran, fiercely and fearfully,
knowing that even if the light was only
a dream and a lie, it was one I was
not willing to give up on.
The darkness whirled around me
and the shadows gave chase.
The fear in my heart constricted my lungs
and I felt certain I could no longer breathe.
But I saw it again, a faint glow
against the darkness, and as I ran toward
it, it grew, until the world was bursting
with radiant light.
The darkness fled, the shadows shrieked and hid.
I walked, breathless, bloodied, and ruined, into the
healing light,
