The term "anxiety" gets thrown out there without much thought. Anxiety is not getting occasionally nervous before a big exam or an interview for that job you have dreamed of. It can be debilitating, it can affect your health, your relationships, and can be downright scary. Often times, it gets mislabeled as dramatic or anti-social. But, anxiety is something that many people suffer from. It is different for every person and can be hard to put into words.
Since it is 2019 and mental illnesses are finally getting some of the attention they deserve (in terms of treatment and awareness), we need to recognize that having anxiety is not something that defines people. No one should be ashamed of talking about their struggles. Anxiety is something that I live with, and I have learned that it is okay to talk about the struggles. So, here are some of the daily struggles.
Yes, I am that person in class who can't stop tapping their foot. Most of the time, I don't even realize I am doing it. I have learned to deal with the annoyed looks and side eyes.
Overdrive & overly tired
There is no in between. Some days are a constant go, mind racing, waking up early, going to bed late, and accomplishing a million things. Other days, getting out of bed is a struggle, and the only thing that sounds appealing is napping and watching Netflix.
The "what if's" of life that have such a small chance of occurring suddenly seem like a huge deal when with my anxiety.
"Am I being annoying?"
Sometimes when around new people, I overanalyze everything and question if they find me annoying. This makes hanging out with new people exhausting.
Minor inconveniences are not so minor
The little things that many people overlook become big things. What may seem like a minor inconvenience to others can make me sit up at night, worrying about the outcome.
Having a checklist for everything
Constantly stressing over deadlines and staying on top of things means that every little detail needs to be written down to ensure I do not forget about it.
Who needs sleep?
Often times, I find myself going to bed way later than I probably should. It is hard to fall asleep when your mind is constantly racing through all the things that could go wrong, or all the things that need to be done the next day.
Stressing over everything
I make up the most unlikely scenarios in my head and then stress over them happening.
Coffee is one of my favorite things, but when I drink it my mind goes about a thousand miles per hour. Most people do not have to worry about what coffee will do to their mental state, but with anxiety, it can make it more prominent.
Debating whether or not to cancel plans because going out just seems too exhausting. It is never fun to be labeled as flaky or anti-social, but sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is to take a break.
Worrying what others think
We have all been told multiple times by multiple different people that what others think of you does not matter. Well that is easier said than practiced.