Your parents are supposed to be the ones there for you. They are the ones who are supposed to support you in all of your endeavors. You even look up to them as an example. When you fall down or have a bad day, you go to your mom or your dad for advice or a little bit of a "pick-me-up". What happens if suddenly you are the one who has to support your parent? I always knew my dad had kidney problems. He's had them for as long as I can remember. We had to be careful with what we ate his house. Salt was basically banned from his diet. (You don't realize how much salt you have in your diet until it's time to cut it out. It's even in different drinks!)My dad supported me in everything I did. Between my soccer games and my science projects, I always had something to talk to him about or get his opinion on. One day, he just wasn't himself. He said he felt sick and sore and didn't want to move. We thought it was the flu or a virus; when he went to the doctor and had a full lab work up done, that's when they saw that his kidneys were failing.
My dad and I were very close and told each other everything. When he told me that it wasn't just the flu and that his organ was failing, the first thing I did was research exactly the kidneys functioned. The science-loving nerd in me needed to know everything so I could to fully understand what was happening. I wanted to know everything I could to help him in the best way possible. I initially thought that there was some type of medication out there that I could find or a specific diet to help with things, but there wasn't. His condition only got worse. During my dad's diagnosis I learned exactly what the word 'labs' meant. They ran every test imaginable to determine what was causing my dad's kidney failure. After multiple visits to at least half a dozen doctors, my father was finally diagnosed with IgA nephropathy, or Berger's disease. Berger's disease doesn't just come out of the blue. I found out my dad has had these kidney problems since he was 21; he turned 49 this year. The doctors just kept saying it was kidney stenosis. This was the first kidney biopsy he had ever had and it finally revealed the truth. If this was caught earlier, they may have been able to manage it or even reverse it with the right medication. But now, my father had to break the news to me and my two younger siblings that he was going to have to have a kidney transplant.
Being seventeen and hearing that my dad was going to need a new organ was one of the scariest things in my life. Thoughts run through your head like, "How long can he wait?" and "How is he limited?" The worst thought comes a couple days later when you ask yourself, "How long can he wait on the transplant list?" Health became our number one concern. He was set up with a dietitian and we started a regular gym schedule. Learning all the rules and guidelines to be accepted on the transplant list was a challenge. There were long nights of reading brochures and pamphlets on the "do's and don't" of his everyday life. He would have days where he couldn't get out of bed. Certain foods literally weighed him down. There were days where he was constantly on the phone with doctors. Still being the kid in the situation, I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how he was going to feel because it changed from day to day. He wasn't able to work as much so I took up a second job. It got my mind off things and I was able to help out a little bit around the house. I figured out that I was going to have to be the bigger person and help everywhere I could. I drove my sister to school and helped my little brother with his homework. Most importantly I became my dad's "person". I was the one going to the gym with him. I was the one he vented to whether he had a bad day at the doctor's office or he wasn't feeling good. As time passed by I could physically see my dad getting healthier. We knew it wasn't completely true but sparks of hope flew when his labs came back better than normal because he's in the best shape he's been in since college.
My dad is currently on the waiting list for a kidney transplant from New Orleans. He is close to being accepted on to the list at the University of Alabama in Birmingham. This waiting game has been the hardest part. I know my dad is about to be put on home dialysis as he waits for his transplant. Seeing him get worse breaks my heart, but I know that the worse he gets, the higher his chances of getting the transplant are. He is hardly able to work and his about to claim disability. I refrain from asking for financial help, especially now that I'm in college. But being a college freshman is a struggle and I know it is nothing like what he is going through, so I keep most everything to myself and try to keep there for him as much as I can.
It's hard being the child of a someone going through the transplant process. Staying positive is hardest thing but also the most needed thing right now. The mindset of things will work out is what keeps me sane. The first year of college is stressful and having a parent who is struggling with an issue that affects people around just puts more on you. I have had to learn how to balance my school out along with my social life and my family needs. I will always have my family at heart because they are the ones who have molded me into the person I am and push me to be the person I want to be.
