It's all so strange and insanely terrifying, isn't it? Love. Love is strange and, by God, is it terrifying.

All love is scary if you really stop to think about it because life and the things that happen in it are wildly unpredictable. Investing so much of yourself into loving people is a gamble; the ones you love could be ripped away from you in a matter of seconds in a-million-and-one possible ways.

What if your father dies in a car accident?

What if your mother is diagnosed with a terminal disease?

What if your best friend commits suicide?

What if, what if, what if...?

What if your significant other just wakes up one day and decides they don't love you anymore?

What if your spouse slowly falls out of love with you, fizzling out like a firework?

What if your partner realizes they love someone else more than they love you?

What if, what if, what if...?

What if any of these things happen to you and you were burdened with the impossible task of coming to terms with who you truly love and care for in this sick world and you had to prepare yourself to part with the ones you don't?

I don't have much experience in the love department, at least not romantically, but I know enough. I know that the same thing that feels good can also feel very, very bad. Acknowledging that you love someone is one of the hardest things to admit to yourself because it's also an admittance to the fact that another person is holding a very delicate and fragile piece of you inside of them regardless of how strong you might consider yourself and your heart to be.

God, it's just so dangerous to give so much of yourself to people knowing fully well of the potential consequences, whether they be natural or not.

But it's all still worth it in the end, isn't it?

Romantic love isn't real... how could it be?

Divorce rates are through the roof, everyone is cheating on everyone, and the infamous "spark" will always disappear after x amount of years.

Whenever I hear about old couples and how long they've been together, many might think that'd throw a wrench into my cynical beliefs, but I still don't believe it. A lot of old folks who stick it out that long are together out of habit and convenience.

Despite believing these things, I still have this small glimmer of hope that I'd be a different lover. Let's be honest, we all believe that we're different from everyone else in a righteous way. I mean, I can't even imagine myself being anywhere near a romantic relationship with someone, but if I ever do get to that point, I swear I'd try my damnedest.

What even is love (in a romantic sense)?

What is it to look at someone with tenderness and to feel that look back? I know the things those with the affliction do: hold hands, share longing gazes and comforting words... but how do those things feel?

I know pain is real. I know what people who are in pain do and how they feel, so why is it that I question the existence of love? If pain is true and real, isn't love for the sake of cosmic balance?

I won't believe it until I see it, or feel it, rather. Even then I know I'll question it. I'll question if it's a figment of my imagination, if it's unrequited, or what have you. I'm just not convinced it's possible or even real despite the fact that I often contradict myself on the matter.

I'm afraid that if and when love ever does happen to me, I'll still be too pessimistic to realize what's right in front of my face.

I'm sure many of you feel the same way, or at least I hope you do so I know that I'm not the only cynical one.