Life is full of cycles. Some only happen once, some occur a couple times before you get it right, and some never stop. Like many cycles of life, starting over after a break up isn't always enjoyable, but it's certainly necessary to carry on. This movement, from being in a relationship to single and then into another relationship, isn't made simply.
When moving on, you have to let go of what you shared with someone, including your feelings. It took me months to get over my first year-long relationship, and it took me several tries to not let myself get back with the person I ended things with. Moving on sometimes means cutting off physical contact, communication, and returning belongings. It can be stressful to go through so much work to put someone in the past, but it can also end up being what you need to feel like your single self again.
Returning to singledom comes with uncomfortable adjustments. That’s not to say being single isn’t what you wanted, but your routine will certainly change. For me, standing on my own has made me feel uneasy. It was abnormal for me to start going grocery shopping, watch movies, eat out, buy clothes, take walks, or even sleep without my partner. Honestly, living life as a single individual isn't fun when it's not what you wanted. In this time, though, I’ve come into a better relationship with myself. Just because you’re alone romantically, doesn’t mean you have to be alone; friends and family are always there to fill your heart and support you on your journey.
The path of life can take you to many places, whether it be with a partner or not. As I recently elaborated in a conversation with a friend, some people don’t like to walk alone, and one of those people is me. That’s not to say I don’t value having “me” time; I love that I have fewer obligations to another person. I have time for all of the shows and movies in my Netflix queue, I can finally get around to reading Mindy Kaling’s book, and I can actually not be late to work because I have my priorities together. Even just the little things that I’m now able to do in all of my free time has made me feel less stressed. Planning your own future is very different from planning a future with another; the space I have to figure out my own life makes my time invaluable.
Right now, the thought of another relationship scares me. I'm very comfortable with being single and staying open to the opportunities life presents. Losing a connection isn’t fun, but creating a new one doesn’t come without risk: being with someone means to be vulnerable. To care for someone’s heart requires that you trust someone to care for yours as well. With an open heart we leap, to fall safely into the arms of another, or dive back into the cycle to start over again.
