I just finished my final year of sorority recruitment. This is my fourth time taking part in recruitment. I went through the process like so many other girls as a college freshman, and I have taken part in recruitment on the other side for my own chapter the past three years. It will be kind of weird next year when August will around without another annual sorority recruitment to take part in. While it is a bittersweet feeling, I can say I am very happy to be done.

I absolutely love finding amazing new girls to join my sorority, but there are parts of recruitment that go on behind the scenes that can make it rough. Long practices, lots of waiting around, getting behind on homework, and probably the fun, having to decide which girls you want to join your sorority and those you do not. This is the part that has always torn at my heart the most.

When I went into sorority recruitment as a college freshman, I was pretty naive about the whole process. They had made it sound like everyone would go back to the sororities they wanted and that everything would be exciting and happy. Getting your bid is one of the happiest times in your life, but the rejection a potential new member can experience going through recruitment can be absolutely devastating and a real blow to their self-esteem.

I was cut after the first night from a chapter I had really liked when I went through sorority recruitment, and it was awful. I thought the girls I talked to had liked me. I thought I had clicked with them. I thought I had some say in what sorority I would be able to join. Instead of focusing on the great chapters who had liked me and asked me back, I was devastated. I am someone who often focuses on the negatives over the positives and ignores the good thing. To be honest, I think it is just kind of human nature. I felt like I was not good enough to be a part of this group of people.

I know the experience I faced is very similar to ones faced by many girls going through recruitment, but after going through recruitment on the other side for three years, I have learned and can understand why this happens so often. Sororities are popular, and it is impossible for every single girl to get asked back to every single house. The other thing about sorority recruitment is that a lot of it is just luck. You can go to a house and talk to one girl the first night who you click with immediately and who loves you and wants you join. The next night, you may talk to another girl in the chapter who you just do not hit it off with, and at that point, you may not go back because that girl does not see you as a member of her chapter. Everything in sorority recruitment is very planned and also very much a decision of the entire chapter. One girl may love you and try so hard to get you asked back to the next round. However, one person in a sorority does not have that kind of power or influence.

Additionally, not being asked back to a chapter does not mean always that they did not like you. People who get into college and decide to rush a sorority are high-achieving and personable people so the competition is pretty tight. You may have been very well-liked, but other girls may just be liked a bit more or just have more of what that chapter is looking for at that moment. My sorority looks for girls who can fit certain needs in our chapter which means having a good conversation with a girl is not always enough for her to become a member. Girls in sororities are also taught to try to assess whether a girl would be a good fit in the chapter. She may really personally like you and get along with you, but if she does not think you would fit in the sorority overall and be happy there, she may try to give you the opportunity to find another chapter you would have a happier experience in.

Panhellenic and recruitment people always tell you to trust the system, and I think it can hard sometimes to do this because the system is not always fair and can be pretty devastating. The system worked out for me because I ended up in the right chapter and cannot imagine myself anywhere else. However, my journey home was not without difficulty. I just hope girls who have gone through or hope one day to go through recruitment can know there is a lot that goes on behind the scenes. Being cut from a sorority says NOTHING about your worth or value as a person. It can be so hard, but every girl who goes through recruitment has something to bring to the table. You just have to find the chapter that needs what you have to offer and will allow you to shine.