1. When someone asks: "Can I touch your hair?"
The answer is no. The answer has always been no, and the answer will always be no. I appreciate your interest in my hair, but please admire my curls from afar.
2. When you're fair-skinned and people ask you if your curls are natural.
You do know that hair texture is not related to skin color, right? And while you're at it, no I don't spend hours in front of the mirror every morning curling my hair.
3. The glorious moment when you unveil a freshly washed mane.
Day one curls are unbeatable. Have you ever just looked at something and knew it was the definition of perfection? That's how I feel when I look at my day one curls in the mirror.
4. Or the betrayal you feel when you unveil your freshly washed hair and it looks absolutely nothing like it should.
How could you do this to me? I spent over an hour washing, conditioning, detangling, moisturizing and styling you, and this is how you repay me? I need some space. Better yet, I need to put you in a bun so you can think about your actions.
5. The pain and devastation you feel when you lose your last bobby pin in your hair.
Now I have to wait until wash day to see if I can find it again.
6. You only brush your hair if you want to look like Diana Ross during the 1980s
When I brush my hair when it's dry, I look like a used cotton ball. If volumized hair is your jam, then by all means, brush away.
7. How it feels when humidity assaults your curl pattern.
I really hate when I spend a lot of time defining and perfecting my curls just for them to frizz up as soon as I walk outside. I can't see through my hair, I can't hear because my ears are hidden beneath my hair and all I can smell is the anti-frizz styling product in my hair that failed me. I am a human worthy of pretty hair, not a chia pet.
8. The way people treat you when you straighten your hair.
What got me through the two hours of straightening was the expectation of compliments I would receive the next day. But let's get one thing straight- I was a princess when my hair is curly, and I am also a princess when my hair is straight.
9. The amount of money you spend on hair products is embarrassing.
You are the girl on the left and your hair is the girl on the right. Not to mention the fact that we use 3 times as much conditioner than shampoo. We should make a petition to get companies who sell curly haired products to lower their prices. I use far too much and the products never last a long time.
10. The cringeworthiness of your S.O trying to lovingly run their hands through their hair.
This could go wrong in so many ways. If their hand gets stuck, that's embarrassing. If they successfully run their fingers through your hair, your curl pattern is broken up beyond repair. What if they find the bobby pin you lost in your hair last week? The cringy opportunities are endless.
11. Even though you hated your curls in middle school and tried to fry them off with a hair straightener, you wouldn't trade your curls for the world.
The journey to acceptance was hard, but I love my curls now more than ever.