I've written this essay to stand as a piece, forever explaining the manner and way Odyssey broke a piece of me back in February 2018. This break happened to me less than eight days after they'd invited me into one of their communities, set me up with an editor, and instructed me about my responsibilities to produce and submit a written piece each week; additionally, promising me I'd receive feedback on what I'd written for them.

Thinking this was going to be an excellent opportunity for me, I opted in and became a content creator for a branch of Odyssey at the University of Wisconsin in Madison. They provided me with an editor-in-chief, a community with which I was instructed to communicate freely via group text messaging, and all the additional rules I'd need to set up and begin writing with Odyssey.

Unfortunately, this soon proved to be the opposite of what I received; something I wish just ONE PROFESSIONAL with Odyssey would acknowledge about all that came to be since I believe my young editor-in-chief's actions against me were absolutely discriminatory. There's simply no other way to explain how it became justified and allowed for one person to independently conclude and then instantly remove me from my community late on a Saturday night without any explanation – based in reality – about how or why this came to be.

And if there is no explanation about why, and if I know I didn't do anything against the rules or regulations, then the reason she removed me simply has to be – ME. Obviously, this hurts my heart and soul quite a bit and I begged numerous professionals at Odyssey to explain it to me, but none of them did. And yet, it is because of all of this previous bullshit that I now tend to be easily angered and jaded by all kinds of Odyssey things, as well as occasionally believing Odyssey is personally messing with me, even though I know that sounds crazy.

Nevertheless, it's the only thing I can come to conclude and based on everything else Odyssey openly did to me, thinking like this can't be too far-fetched considering all of the following.

1. An advertised story sparked the curiosity that originally brought me to Odyssey pre-February 2018.
2. Then, I read several essays filled with absurd words and logic-lacking arguments that left me wanting to write and play too; all things Odyssey was inviting me to do.
3. Foolishly, I believed Odyssey and I opted to join one of their communities.
4. This placed me in an Odyssey community from the University of Wisconsin in Madison, even though I'd clearly indicated I was living in La Crosse, Wisconsin.
5. The Editor-In-Chief at Odyssey in Madison contacts on the phone. We share words and stories about our points of view. Then, she officially let me into her community in the late afternoon on February 9, 2018.
6. I begin reading and doing all that Odyssey asked me to do; building a profile on the computer and on the app required for community text messaging.
7. I submit my first story prior to the week's deadline, which happened to be Wednesday, February 14.
8. Then, there is a lull in activity and nothing to reference about what was to be happening next, so I asked my community about that with a text.
9. This teaches me that on Sundays, content creators will either receive feedback on their piece, or it will simply be put up on the Odyssey site.
10. On Saturday, February 17, my Editor-In-Chief sends out numerous texts and emails expressing her frustration that all content creators needed to read the instructions about formatting for stories.
11. Around 7:27 PM on Saturday, February 17, I again read the frantic and frustrated words of my Editor-In-Chief which triggered me to send some lighthearted text messages to her and to my community; again, believing this to be an action Odyssey requested of me.
12. Curiosity alters the topic of my texts from my original inquiry to the Editor-In-Chief in which I asked her if she felt like she was "herding cats🐈," because of what she had written to all of us about formatting and requirements earlier in the day.
13. Then, because I'd used that damn cat emoji, I'd seen that there were several different cat emojis available to use.
14. Now, thinking about the absurdity behind ALL THE EMOJIS available to one today fired up thoughts about how this is both interesting and absurd at the same time. Emojis don't just come to be on their own. Someone needs to come up with what they will look like and then program that into existence.
15. This thought about emojis being reflections of the humans and the society who programmed them to be and look as they do was interesting to me, so I shared it with my community.
16. A text conversation begins and continues with another Odyssey community member.
17. Just after 7:42 PM and without a word of warning, my ability to text with my community fails.
18. Hmm... I wonder. What happened?
19. Just before 8 PM, my Editor-In-Chief sends a personal text to me in which she informs me that community group messaging is for "appropriate content at appropriate times." She follows this by stating we will discuss it more in the upcoming workdays.
20. With my community texting ability now dead, I finished my night and go to bed.
21. Unfortunately, this Editor-In-Chief decided to make her own rules and at 10:47 PM on Saturday, February 17, 2018, I received an email from her stating the following.
    
    "I regret to inform you that I am removing you from the UW-Madison's Odyssey team. After careful consideration by myself and the editing staff, I feel your distance from the UW-Madison campus is not the best fit for this team. I feel it's difficult to equip you with the necessary tools to be a successful creator in our community without being able to meet in person... Because of this, I can't adequately communicate with you about formatting and other expectations that I hold standard across all creators."

In addition to this late night email, I found that she had effectively killed all traces of me inside of Odyssey. The profile I'd just made for them was now gone and dead. The story I'd submitted wasn't to be published, nor would I be receiving the feedback they promised to give me the following day.

Instead, that was it! I'd been let into Odyssey and removed from them in under eight-days without any explanation of how or why all of this came to be justified. And believe me, I begged Odyssey for an explanation of why this had been done to me, only to slowly learn NOT ONE PROFESSIONAL at Odyssey cared about these injustices one individual came to decide and enact on me.

Never, ever, could I have foreseen that communicating about cat emojis on a Saturday night would be Strike One, Strike Two, and Strike Three, and become grounds for the INSTANT REMOVAL OF ME FROM ODYSSEY!! It's a ludicrous thought even to this day because nothing I did was inappropriate in any way. But you know, I think the weird in me scared young Editor-In-Chief, Natalie.

Obviously, getting fired from this free job-like opportunity without any explanation simply SUCKS!! Knowing I hadn't broken any rules or done anything worthy of this annihilation means the only reason for my young Editor-In-Chief to remove me so quickly is ME. And by this time, she knew more than anybody about all the many things about me that were making me DIFFERENT from all others in her community.

Which is why I believe she removed me out of her own personal fears that somehow, the odd, unusual words and bold personality in me would somehow reflect poorly on her, being that she brought me into that community. But you know, THIS DOESN'T MAKE IT FAIR!! It's just unfortunate that no one else at Odyssey cares to see it the same way. Instead, they brushed me aside over, and over again, until I stopped trying to communicate with them.

Of course, this is a conclusion I struggle to accept as there are so many insane and ironic details. If my texting that Saturday night was at an inappropriate time, what does that say about her 10:45 PM email informing me of my removal? How could she have employed "careful consideration" with others in the editing staff if it all happened so quickly? How could she placed the blame on the distance between me and the community when she informed me this would not be an issue earlier that week on Wednesday?

And finally, one of the best contradictions in her email dismissing me comes from her statements that this La Crosse /Madison distance meant she couldn't "communicate adequately" with me about the expectations of Odyssey. But you know why that's funny? This young lady is studying "strategic communications" at the University. I certainly hope she's new to that field, otherwise, she's missing a load of information and any ability to communicate strategically.

Again, to my great dismay, there's no happy ending for me. Instead, just a deep shaming by the professionals at Odyssey; and that's one that's stuck with me in a hurtful and depressing way.