Cuffing Season: [kufn ing] [see-zuh n]
Definition* : During the fall and winter months people who would normally rather be single or promiscuous find themselves, along with the rest of the world, desiring to be "cuffed" or tied down by a serious relationship. The cold weather and prolonged indoor activity causes singles to become lonely and desperate to be "cuffed"
*Definition from UrbanDictionary.com
Not only does the end of fall suck because it's so cold you can barely move, but it also sucks because we have entered cuffing season. It's a common misconception that Ohio experiences only four seasons. Here in the Buckeye State, we actually experience five: spring, summer, fall, cuffing, and winter. It's quite a phenomenon, really. Cuffing season is all fun and games until you realize that you're still single...
But not to worry, fellow single friends, here are some tips to get you through the dreaded cuffing season:
1. Cry
I'm totally kidding...well kind of...
2. Pay someone to be your pretend boyfriend/girlfriend
Before you sit there and think that I'm crazy, just think about how annoying it is to go to family gatherings during holidays and hear "the question". An example scenario goes as follows:
Grandma: How are you, Sierra? Are you dating anyone? Have a good boy in your life?
Me: Uh, no not yet... *awkwardly runs away*
Grandma: *screaming* Now Sierra, you know you're not getting any younger...
So instead of feeling the desire to run away from grandma, just pay someone to pretend that they're yours. They'll get money and free food (hello, Thanksgiving).
3. Buy a dog
You can't be lonely when you have the most loving creature by your side. Dogs are the safest bet to having something never leave you. I'm not kidding, have you ever seen a dog not want to be loved? Exactly. Another perk of buying a dog? Distraction. Nobody at your family gathering will remember to ask if you're single because they'll be too busy obsessing over your cute little fur ball...you're welcome.
4. Get out of the house
Don't act like I don't know what you're doing right now. It's a Friday evening, and you're in your apartment, lying in bed, binge-watching Netflix. Don't make the excuse that it's too late out because we all know it feels like 10 p.m. but it's only 5 p.m. (Thanks, Daylight Savings.) Cuffing Season is only lonely because you're isolating yourself in your apartment. You might not meet the love of your life, but you may end up running into a fellow single warrior. So turn Drake off, turn the Weeknd on and get out there again!
If you follow all of these simple steps, then you're sure to survive cuffing season. And if you're still single by the end of it, just remember there is always next year!
