My acne controls my life. I wake up in the morning and am disgusted by my face. I tend not to look too hard because then I just get even more upset. I have to plan my day so that when I take my makeup off I know that I will not run into anyone. This is an unfortunate life to live. I limit the amount of people I see when I do not have my acne covered. I am ashamed and embarrassed by my bare face. This is a sad reality that has become my everyday routine. I want to feel beautiful in my bare skin but my acne restricts me from doing so.
I feel like I have tried almost everything from pills, to creams, to scrub washes to try and cure my acne but nothing seems to be the long term fix. Some things have worked for a little or have made things even worse. Over the years, I learned that my acne is triggered by stress. My dermatologist told me the solution was to not stress. Wow. Not stress? I am stressing out at the fact that I shouldn't be stressing. Thanks, Doc.
Why am I way over the puberty stage in life and my face still looks like I am a 14-year-old girl? How is it that other people my age can wake up in the morning with beautiful, clear skin and I am stuck with these hideous scars and breakouts?
I am in a vicious cycle where the makeup I use makes my acne worse, but I feel like I need to wear it to cover my face. My acne makes me hate myself every single time I look in the mirror.
I wish I didn't have to feel so insecure about my face. I wish I felt like I could choose whether or not to wear face makeup. I feel like it is a necessity for me to feel good about myself. I care too much about what others think of me and that is my number one problem.
A lot of people may not know this fact about me but I hope that by writing this article others can relate. This is something I struggle with every day and it is exhausting. I hope I am not the only 20 something who still struggles with acne. I am sick and tired of having my acne define me and control my life. I am tired of not feeling beautiful in my own skin.
#YOULOOKDISGUSTING was a movement started by a model who struggled with acne and learned how to accept herself and her flaws. This was a very powerful video that went viral about a year ago. If you have not seen it already I highly recommend to watch it. I am guilty of comparing myself to unrealistic expectations of perfect skin. Acne is something that we all struggle with and it should not have control over our lives. I am in a constant struggle of learning how to accept myself for who I am while not letting my mind convince me otherwise.
"You are beautiful. Don't let anyone tell you differently, not even yourself"