Crush is an event hosted by sorority houses in which members are able to anonymously invite their guests. Sorority women can reveal themselves to their guests ahead of time, surprise their guests at the event, or have their crush remain a secret until the end of time. This gives house women the chance to invite a crush of theirs without the fear of rejection, or to invite their friends for a fun social event.
In the common vernacular, a crush is defined as follows:
Crush /krʌʃ/ (noun): a brief but intense infatuation for someone, especially someone unattainable or inappropriate; from the Old French cruissir meaning to gnash one’s teeth, or the only appropriate way to deal with your repressed emotions and unrequited romantic obsessions.
Allow us to introduce ourselves:
I'm Patrick Toohey, a freshman boy at Colgate University. I like long walks on the beach and poking fun at all things college culture. I'll be attending my first Crush event this Thursday, and I'm here to provide you with my semi-naive expectations of what the evening will entail.
I'm Julia Cooper, a senior sorority woman at Colgate who is an expert on all things college culture and doesn't quite remember all of the details of Crushes past. I'm here to provide the crushing reality of the event.
Let’s get crushin’ (Yes, we really just said that).
Expectation: I bet they dress like movie stars at Crush. Like they’re going to a fancy wedding reception or one of those events where everyone asks who you’re wearing.
Reality: Crush attire typically features one’s finest Forever 21 romper paired with wedge heels that can battle the elements. Anything fancier or less comfortable would quickly prove to be a mistake.
Expectation: Crush is probably super exclusive, like a high-end posh society or the Mile High Club (I don’t actually know what that is, but it sounds cool and exclusive).
Reality: It’s actually inclusive af. Except for the fact that you have to be handpicked by a member to attend and they check your name off of a list at the door, you won’t face the classic Greek life question of, ‘who do you know here?’.
Expectation: Crushing someone seems like the ultimate way to ask someone out. It’s like a proposal, except you get to go to a party instead of a wedding.
Reality: As far as I can tell very few members will anonymously invite someone so that they can reveal themselves at the event. Typically, members will invite friends they want to hang out with or acquaintances they want to get to know better and will reveal themselves prior to the event to guarantee their guest’s attendance. High-key, staring-wistfully-at-someone-across-the-quad crushes do get invited, but the jury is still out on how many members have the chutzpah to reveal their secret.
Expectation: Upperclassmen are so impressive and intimidating. They probably know all of the important people on campus and drink fancy drinks like martinis and stuff.
Reality: Upperclassmen know the names of like three drinks to order at the bar and don't know how all of these children could have been invited. We’re impressively reckless as we try to make the most out of our last year before official adulthood.
Expectation: The music is going to be so good. I can’t wait to discover what the cool people listen to.
Reality: The Chainsmokers’ “Closer” will probably play a hundred times.
Expectation: I bet the food is mind-blowing. Like those fancy French dishes you can set on fire or sandwiches that you eat with utensils.
Reality: Yeah, so there's no food. Ain't nobody got that kind of budget. It is incredibly common, however, to grab some Slices across the street upon the event’s conclusion.
Expectation: God, I hope I’m not awkward since I don’t know anyone. Greek life people probably know everyone.
Reality: Well, that's not untrue. The people most likely to show up at Crush if they've been anonymously invited are those who already have friends in the sorority or other friends who have been crushed. Getting to meet the extended friend groups of sisters is always a fun part of attending Crush.
Expectation: Getting crushed is so exciting and romantic. Crush couples probably stay together forever.
Reality: HA “couples.” It's not uncommon for Crush to foster an environment in which collegiate love can blossom, but my research suggests that few couples exist on campus in the first place, let alone those who met each other via Crush.
Expectation: I’ve pretty much got a captive audience so hopefully, I’ll make a ton of friends.
Reality: I'm going to introduce you to everyone, so get ready to become the most popular man on campus.
So, for those of you lucky enough to be invited to Crush, I hope reading this article was an illuminating experience. Or at least now you're less ignorant than Patrick was.
