Content warning: Suicide
Life can be a tangled mess when things get complicated. Take it from somebody who knows and understands - it's not an easy place to be, especially when you desperately want to get back on your feet again. In times such as these, it's all too easy to allow your mind to drift to that all-too-depressing question: would everything be better if I disappeared forever?
As a blatant and honest answer before even getting into it: no. Regardless of where you stand in life, nothing could ever be further from a solution. I've seen the effects of it, I've felt the weight of it, and I've had times where I've even considered it. In the end, nobody wins in these situations, and those left behind are undoubtedly worse off for it.
We have to keep a check on our own mentalities.
When left unchecked, it's surprising just how dark our mindsets can be. We constantly overthink the interactions we have with other people, especially after going through a negative experience, such as a breakup or the death of someone close to us. In times like these, it's too easy to lose ourselves in our depression - and before long, the idea of leaving everything behind seems that much more reasonable.
There's nothing easy about making sure you keep these feelings in check, but you'll find that when you keep on top of the things that are dragging you down, positivity isn't far behind.
Learn not to make every little thing so dramatic.
When we're down, it's far too easy to overexaggerate everything that's going on. The more we feed into this negative mentality, the more likely we may be to give in to it, with dire consequences waiting on the horizon.
Reach out to others and do something to calm your thoughts.
In this time period, find select people whom you trust and whom you know will take you seriously, and let them know what's going on. It's going to hurt, but any pain you feel from going through these conversations will be infinitely better than the alternative.
In addition, try going out and doing something to still your nerves. There are bound to be friends who will be excited to see you, or you could even just take a peaceful walk down your street or in the woods. The world is your oyster, and you have every reason to explore every part of it that you can. It's worked well for me personally.
Music helps when you're walking, but it's not necessary. Just focus on appreciating the beautiful world that surrounds you, and use that to remember just how much better off that world is with you in it.
My older brother was unable to keep from giving in to the worst of his thoughts, and the effects of that caused emotional scars on my family that will never be sealed. I've had many friends struggle with similar thoughts, and after the events of last year, there were a few occasions where I considered it myself.
All of us just need to take a step back and appreciate what we DO have every time we've convinced ourselves that there's nothing here for us anymore. There will be pain to come in your future, but it will be nothing compared to the suffering you would put others through if you were to go down that path.
Step back from those crossroads and come back home, back in the direction from which you came. Nobody can promise you a life without strife, but I can tell you that you would be doing yourself a disservice by cutting off all your potential forever.
Hang in there. Get the help you need. No matter how bad it may seem, it will get better. When you keep this in mind, nothing can ever stop you.
It's time we got out and made some new memories.
