Listening to Beyoncé radio on Pandora is a hoot because it plays all of her songs from the early 2000s up until her newest hits, and the 360 she has done is hilarious. I feel like when Beyoncé listens to her old songs it’s probably how us mortals feel when we look at pictures of ourselves from our eighth grade year books—that is, ashamed and slightly mortified that we could have ever looked like that (or, in Beyoncé’s case, sang the most un-feminist songs you could think of).
2003, 03’ Bonnie & Clyde
Back when Beyoncé and Jay Z were still in the honeymoon phase of newly dating, they sang a borderline nauseating song about their infatuation with each other. Let’s take a closer look at some of the more cringe-worthy lyrics, shall we?
Jay Z:
Only time we don't speak is during "Sex and the City"
She gets Carrie fever, but soon as the show is over
She's right back to being my soldier
Well, who doesn’t get a little bit of Carrie fever during Sex and the City? I guess even Bey has her moments. As long as she’s Jay’s “soldier” again afterward, he’ll allow it (*gags*).
Next, Jay explains to us the importance of treating your girlfriend better than your side chick.
The problem is, you dudes treat the one that you lovin
with the same respect that you treat the one that you humpin
Such wisdom! I wonder if he took his own advice during his affair with Rachel Roy.
And then of course the lyrics that everyone knows:
All I need in this life of sin is me and my girlfriend/
Down to ride til the very end it’s me and my boyfriend
Sigh. Eye roll emoji.
2005, Upgrade U
A mere eleven years ago, Beyoncé sang a duo with her then-brand new hubbie Jay Z persuading him that she could upgrade his life. While she admits, in verse one, that Jay normally likes to keep his women on a leash, she’s ~different~ and that’s just what he needs
Notice you the type that like to keep them on a
Leash though…
...Don’t doubt yourself trust me you need me
She proceeds, in verse two, to tell her listeners that much like Martin (Luther King Jr., I’m assuming), she can do a lot for Jay Z. How being a good girlfriend is anything like the nationwide civil rights movement lead by Mr. King, I’m not exactly sure, but hey, if Beyoncé says it, it must be true.
Ran by the men but the women keep the tempo
Yup, there’s our girl Bey, unabashedly proclaiming men to be in charge.
Later on she says that when Jay is in “big meetings,” she’ll be some good eye candy:
When you're in the big meetings for the mills…
...It take me just to compliment the deal.
That’s right, Bey, let the men do the talking!
The song ends with Beyoncé listing a whole bunch of stuff that costs thousands of dollars and will surely upgrade Jay’s look, and presumably, she is an unspoken item on that list. Huh.
Queen Bey has certainly evolved as a feminist since those days. Run The World (Girls), **Flawless (featuring a clip from Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s well-known feminist Ted talk), and not to mention pretty much every song from Lemonade. It’s okay, Bey, we forgive you for your old music.
