Ok. Let's just pause for a moment to reflect on American youth's obsession with anything that has to do with being in a romantic relationship. To make things easier and for lack of a better phrase, I'm calling it "bae craze." My claim is that this infatuation needs to be broken.
If your life is anything like mine, you can't go a single day without seeing, hearing or talking about dating or being attracted to someone. I am constantly bombarded with songs, conversations, thoughts, social media posts, ads, film and comments that reflect the bae craze of my friends, celebrities and peers. It’s all basically inescapable for any modern day young adult. No one even questions it; so many people just live in submission to it.
I am one of those people. I’m involved in this culture as much as the next person, maybe even more. But if I’m honest, I think I’m finally just wanting to dig out of it.
But before I try to claw my way out of bae craze, I think it’d be smart to explore why America’s young adult group is in such emphasis. Our brains and hearts have the capacity and desire to love and be loved. We were created this way (quite beautifully, might I add) so that we would depend and invest in others and strive for community. Anyone who has experienced true communion with others knows what I’m talking about—how great it is to feel the bond between people devoted to each other or to a common cause. This feels so good because it fills part of the hole we have that I believe can only be filled by our Creator. But with bae craze, we have become obsessed with shoving anything and everything towards that selectively fillable hole, desperate to feel complete.
Yes, this sounds kind of intense, but so is this problem. I’m repeatedly slipping back into this habit because I often justify and excuse myself by saying, “It’s a good way to bond with my floormates” or, “This is the only time in my life that I can so fully enjoy this excitement!” It's so easy to get caught up in the bae craze! Playing off one another's stories, laughing at each other's awkwardness in seeing their "bae," and hyper-analyzing every interaction with the person can be a recipe for hilarity. And I definitely am not saying that this is necessarily wrong, but we need to keep ourselves in check and not let this lead us spiraling towards obsession. I know that not all youth are affected as much as I am and many people are more in control of their desires and emotions than me, but I want to voice this for anyone who is as blindfolded as I was. I’ve spent half my life struggling with this and am now realizing how much trouble it has caused me.
You might be wondering why I’m criticizing this so harshly, and so here’s my claim: Having bae craze can turn our perspective from satisfactorily embracing the current blessings of our life into continually believing that we are incomplete without a significant other. In turn, we can miss out on appreciating the abundant gifts we currently have. Escaping bae craze will increase our joy level because we will be released from dissatisfaction, but more importantly, we will rise above and thrive because we will feel whole and stable. Due to this, we will have the liberty to stop focusing on ourselves and instead focus on positively changing this world.
So how do we reach this point of having our bae craze in check?
1. Recognize the issue.
Introspect by asking yourself: If I never marry the love of my life, will I be satisfied with myself? If your answer is no, I’m diagnosing you with bae craze. Do not fear—it’s escapable.
2. Remind yourself of where your true identity lies.
It can be found outside of baes. My goal is to find my identity in God… what’s yours?
3. Tell someone about it.
Talk to a close friend who is also battling or does not have bae craze. Agree to be accountable to each other by centering your conversations not on things relating to romantic relationships. Try to converse more about positive goals, passions and dreams. Also, tell any bae craze buddies about your new found goal to be more controlled and invite them along in the journey.
4. Replace bae craze topics/conversation with something better.
Focus on positive goals, passions, dreams, self-identity, etc.
5. Have a positive attitude.
This is easier said than done, but realize that if this is the worst thing you are dealing with, you are pretty dang blessed. In this, know that you are strong enough and believe that you will succeed.
May you break the obsession and become a more grateful, centered, and liberated person.
