Young twenty somethings and hopeless romantics can admit they are avid Sex and the City, Sarah Jessica Parker, shoe-loving watchers of the timeless, raunchy and oh so addicting show which created definition of romantic comedy.
SJP’s character, as the main protagonist Carrie Bradshaw; opened the door for women to relate to her relationships and experiences with men, along with her three best friends Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha. Looking back at the six season series, viewers have seen it all; the good, the bad, the ugly and everything in between.
However, there was one particular relationship Carrie seemed to always go back to. I'm of course talking about none other than the elusive and unattainable Mr. Big. Throughout the series, Carrie is shown either smiling or sobbing due to her on and off again relationship with the charismatic Mr. Big. Their relationship is beyond dysfunctional. From barely acknowledging each other in public to the fear of commitment, we were kept on the edge of our seats right until the very end of the series, waiting to see if these two were actually meant to be together.
Many SATC fans are not satisfied with Carrie’s so called happy ending. Mr. Big was an a**. He was trouble. He was a jerk. He was a sleaze. A tease, and basically every other word that exists to describe your ultimate d-bag.
Why didn’t she end up with Aiden?
Fans still ask themselves. After all, he was a loyal boyfriend, who kept things simple and loved Carrie unconditionally. What girl wouldn't want someone like that?
To understand this, we must understand “Mr. Big Syndrome”. Carrie isn’t the only one that falls victim to this, most of us at some point have a Mr. Big in our lives. He’s the guy that our friends aren’t rooting for. The guy who makes us come back and wanting more. It’s the one sided affair where as much as you love him, he will not love you. To him, you are a small fish in a big pond and he has a million other fish he can lure with his bait (or bullsh*t).
Despite the whole world telling you he’s not worth your time, you ignore everything else and trust your gut that he will change for you. Because in a happy ending, that’s how everything is… in the end you will be happy.
While most still wish Carrie didn’t choose Mr. Big, I’ve realized that while how unrealistically it may seem to have the original playboy change his ways for her… it’s not impossible.
It’s not bad to give someone a second chance (or four second chances). It’s not bad to not give up on someone and keep rooting for them. You’re not being naïve, you’re having faith.
Reanalyzing the Carrie and Mr. Big relationship, while as dysfunctional as they may have been; without those tough situations, they wouldn't have what they ended up with. They didn’t rush into things, they learned to forgive each other and appreciate one another even for their flaws. That’s not being immature, that’s learning to love.
While my relationship differs in the level of dysfunction from Carrie’s, dating my own (or very similar) Mr. Big has taught me that being happy doesn’t come naturally and morever, that it shouldn’t. No one is perfect and thus: no relationship can be perfect. Being in a relationship has also taught me that being a hopeless romantic isn’t a bad thing. You believe in the best, you know you deserve the best, and you’re hoping the right guy will come along the way.
My relationship with my Mr. Big hasn’t only met my expectations but exceeded them. The best part isn’t being able to call him mine, but telling everyone else, "I told you so!”
The “Mr. Big Syndrome” has its effects on all of us. While it can be tough, toxic and heartbreaking, on rare occasions it’s worth it. On the other hand, through it all you can learn yourself if he’s worth it or not rather from others. However, for those who have that attachment to their “Mr. Big” or are still searching for that perfect someone… it’s far from easy. But with patience, maybe you can find your happy ending. All you need is a little faith.
To my "Mr. Big" David, thanks for being as wonderful as you are.
