Sometimes the world seems like an endless hurricane; we scramble to grab hold of something, anything, to anchor us down and give us a sense of direction, be it boyfriends, girlfriends, friends or family. We feel lost without certain people in our lives; once they're taken out of the equation, we are no longer sure of what's important. This is why I feel the need to write a gentle reminder of the importance of being brave enough to be alone, especially during this time and for my generation.
Human connection is beautiful, valuable and perhaps one of the most important if not the most important thing in the world. However, the best connections happen between two wholes and not two halves because two different halves can't become one whole without destroying themselves in the process. Instead of desperately trying to find someone who fits in your grooves and completes you, complete yourself first and you will eventually find your life partner. An analogy I often imagine in my head is instead of being a foot and trying to find another foot to run with, be a pair of feet and find another pair of feet going in the same direction as you are, at the same pace as you are.
Being alone is scary. No one's there to tell you whether you're screwing up or to give you a gold star for doing a good job. No one's there to tell you that you're pretty on days you feel like a sack of potatoes. There aren't warm arms waiting for you at home at the end of a long day and there isn't someone you can clutch when you wake up in the middle of the night from a nightmare.
Instead of being consumed by the fear and anguish, I suggest trying to look at it a different way: we're growing and preparing ourselves to be the best partners we can be. Instead of thinking in the short run and dating for emotional security, we're learning about ourselves and about our place in the world so that when we do meet our life partners, we'll be ready. This way, when I meet him, I can give us the best possible shot.
At first, it's devastating. You reach out your hand only to close your fingers around thin air. Don't curl up and disappear. Hold your arms wide, spin around and breathe.
