Could you lay your life down so a stranger could live? Could you go home knowing the bullet that was fired could have been headed straight for you? Could you miss holidays with your families all to be protecting the streets where families you know nothing about live? Could you walk out of your car and approach a stranger, not knowing if you're facing the devil himself? Could you walk out of your own home, hug your family and kiss your spouse and children without knowing if this was your last time to embrace their love? Could you handle the hatred and remarks that you could cut you deep inside? Could you roll those words off and keep doing what you're trained to do with pride? Could you keep pushing on when you feel like you have nothing left to give because you have been on a crime scene, seen more than a horror movie and realized this is reality? Could you wear 20 pounds of uniform and run after a felon who just shot at your fellow brother or sister?
The answer is, no; not everyone could. Not everyone would sacrifice a small pay check but still wear that badge so proudly that you would bleed. It's those in uniform. It's those in black and blue. They bleed with pride and a selfless heart. They bleed with the sweat and tears they face every day knowing it's all for protecting their brothers, their sisters and your community. The blood that they bleed comes from standing beside their biggest fears in life as you approach your television screen and see yet another one walking that thin blue line has lost their life in the line of duty. Their heart cries as their mourning badge goes right back on the next day. It seems like once it's taken off, it's right back on. Another one of them, gone. Another one who sacrificed their lives for another human they knew nothing of. Gone, just like that. The thin blue line is dwindling down because of hatred-fueled acts.
They risk everything. The pressure is on them now. The unknowing if they'd ever see their boots hit their driveway to come running to their children again is fearsome. Not knowing if their wife waiting at home for them will get a phone call or a knock on their door, it's nothing short of bone-chilling. Why these men and women have to go to work everyday now with the unknowing of their return has became such a risk that it makes my heart cry. It makes my heart pound with anxiety as that door closes and my husband's truck leaves our address to report to the line of duty, the world's most dangerous job this day in time. I feel anxious for all the people who serve publicly as well. They serve all with gratification while never looking back. They put on their uniforms, get their duty bags together and call out their number on the radio as their shift of unknowing starts. Prayers go high, heads get bowed. God willing, he brings them all home safe.
Only if everyone cared as much as public servants could the world be a different place. If everyone looked at life from their perspectives involving car chases, murder scenes, domestic disputes (which are one of the most dangerous calls) and a missing child all because of a parent abandonment, just to name a few incidents, people would think differently. It's public servants and law enforcement officers having to hold back tears that turn into memories graphed in their minds. It's all there, etched in their minds forever. Yet, they know once again, they face the same fears tomorrow.
"Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, 'Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?' Then said 'I, Here am I; send me.'" - Isaiah 6:8
You see, it's him. He's one. He is one underneath that uniform that's a husband, a father, a son and a brother. My husband. Wrapped in that uniform. The one I love comes in with stories he tells that make me never want to send him back, but we promise to stay close in communication. He has come home with bruises, scrapes, tears and exhaustion that has hit from working over time from his twelve hour shift that's already been performed, but duty called and he had to delay family time. He stands with his department with honor; to serve and protect until the job is fulfilled. In return what does he get? Hatred and discrimination just because he wears a uniform. Do you honestly think these men and women who protect you and I deserve such repugnance? I don't.
People can hate and disagree with what I say, but as a LEO wife, I stand proud and I back the blue for all they do. I have seen many officers quit their jobs because it's gotten so vile out there that they are scared to go forward anymore because their families cry for them. Then I see the ones who are still standing with the few others within that thin blue line. It gets thinner daily. The news reminds us of yet another man who was doing right by serving his people only to get shot and killed by somebody who was doing wrong.
A folded flag is now stained with tears. They had their badges removed as they took their last breaths as duty called their names. Their brothers and sisters cry with heartache and pain while experiencing the most unbearable feeling. Their families are now left without a husband, wife, father, mother, sister or brother. They all belonged to somebody. If it wasn't for the badge, bagpipes wouldn't play and "Amazing Grace" wouldn't be sang in the most tearful way at one of the most hurtful burials that one's eyes could see. But that badge has to be worn by somebody; somebody who is protected by our Lord himself, but as always...
"Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay his life down for his friends." - John 15:13
The last call anyone wants to hear is "officer down." Red and blue lights brighten the sky with mourning. A badge number has now been called over the radio. Chills run down all our spines. All patrols respond. All their brothers and sisters hug each other tighter. The thin line gets thinner every day... it's the disgrace we hear. It's reality. It's what we live in. It's us LEO wives that cry with hopeful hearts that they aren't our spouses. It's war out there. A miracle is all we hope for, as this world has turned into Hell. There are people against police solely because they are dressed in uniform. It's the same uniform that comes home ripped, stained and, for some, blood-bathed. The uniform that is worn all day or all night. They come home restless and with tears pouring down their faces because it was them that came mighty close to losing their lives.
I ask for prayers for our country. I ask for people who have hatred in their hearts with misunderstanding to soon understand. I pray for people who deem shooting an officer to be "okay" because they're a different color will soon fade out. I pray that the world will one day come together as one. One world that supports one another where we will not mourn for the reasons of another officer being gunned down. Next time you feel influenced to flick one of our men off, or not pull over to the next lane, remember what these few people do for you and I.
I pray for our country and our citizens to see the good in all people. Please, as I'm the wife standing behind the door, waiting to hear gravel being pushed in beneath tires on his arrival home. I am that LEO wife. I live on edge daily because I love a hero behind that badge.
I live with a hero, a counselor and protector. A man dressed in pride and a man who is full of intelligence; that's him. That's my law enforcement officer. Please, bring him and his six home. Please bring that thin blue line together and make it thicker. Remember their heart beats just the same as ours.
This is reality. This is what the world has came to.
"And maybe remind the few, if ill of us speak; that we are what stands between the monsters and the weak." - Anonymous
This is dedicated to all the men and women who served and their times were cut too short. I among others live in households where we take deep breaths because our LEOs are home now. We appreciate all of what you do with every sweat and tear.
To those that have lost their lives in the line of duty, you served well. Your work here on Earth is done. My husband and his six will always see you. I see you.
- T
