Ever since I was a young kid I always wanted to be and adult because i thought it meant being free but in all actuality it was the reverse. I was free as a child free of responsibilities such as taking care of myself or paying my bills or paying my bills and other peoples bills, I was free from going to work at a shitty place with shitty people for shitty pay. I was free to.do what I wanted when I wanted within the guidelines of my parents rules. If I wanted to hang out with my friends I didn't have to make plans two weeks in advance so I could make sure I didn't work those days I could just ask my mom or dad. I was unaware of all the evils in the world, all I knew was there were good people and there were bad people and I wanted to be one of the good people. Everything was beautiful no matter how ordinary it was.

Most of all I didn't know how to gate until I was taught how to hate, I was innocent and happy and I didn't know what depression was or anxiety and I didn't know I was living with it everyday. Having a mental illness that young you don't notice it you just kind of go about your business and act like its not there where as an adult you have to learn to deal with it and how to live with it and you know its there and you can't pretend its not. As an adult its not okay to scream and cry to let out your frustration even though it is sometimes necessary for you to do so. Being a kid and being an adult are two very different thing and I don't know why children want to grow up so fast, maybe us adults should start telling them its not as much fun as it looks or how being a kid is the best time of your life .... Although I have heard those words come out of adults mouths when I was a kid I just didn't care to listen. We wanted to be adults so bad and now look at us we are all stressed out balls of anxiety and caffeine oh what I life we live.