How To Cope When You Don't Get The Attention You Want
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Student Life

How To Cope When You Don't Get The Attention You Want

Feeling ignored and unloved? Here is how to feel better about it.

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How To Cope When You Don't Get The Attention You Want

If you're like most people, you like receiving attention. It could go as far as having an entire crowd listen to one of your hilarious stories or just having one person that texts you back at night. As humans, we crave attention no matter how big or small. No one likes to be ignored. But sometimes, we just can't control it. This can be very upsetting for a girl who constantly craves the attention of those she loves and those she tolerates.

Like me.

I don't ask for much. I just want people to pay attention to me. Is that so wrong? Is that too much to ask? I want people to validate that my inner musings and thoughts are valued. I know I'm not alone in this. How many times do you feel like you're getting ignored by a friend, a best friend, a lab partner, a parent, a significant other, a guy you're just talking to, or your dog? Here is how I cope with not getting the attention I want.

Lower your expectations:

So part of the reason you get let down in the first place is because you have high expectations for people who do not meet them. I mean, we all know a normal person doesn't start a conversation and then not reply back. We all know it is frowned upon to just open someone's Snapchat and not reply when that snap was directed for you and only you. But clearly, some people just don't work that way. They don't get it. Don't blame them. Just understand you may have to accept that social norms such as replying to someone is a common courtesy. Try to lower your expectations of the people who constantly let you down and don't give you the attention you desire.

Give it time:

Let's face it: The world doesn't revolve around you. Shocking, I know. But sometimes people have to pee or drive or go to class. As much of a burden as this can be, you should just give it some time before you go into full panic mode. Put your phone down, take a shower, or just distract yourself. Odds are, those people in your group message will respond when the time is right.

Try to be understanding:

With finals and such closing out the semester, it's understandable that people are busy and have other priorities than talking to you. They may not have time to text you back after looking at your text (with their read-receipts on). Try to comprehend that the world does not revolve around you (hard to swallow, I know) and understand that they probably have other more important stuff that needs their immediate attention.

Consider why you need said attention:

Is it because you're bored? Or is it because you have the weight of the world on your shoulders? Is there something you need to address with this person now? A burning question? Life or death? Do you really need to talk to this person or do you just need someone to talk to? If you're just bored, I'm sure there are several other people that love you and will text you back.

Don't assume they hate you or that you did something wrong:

As humans, we love to assume the worst. "They opened my Snapchat but didn't reply. OMG they hate me". "My best friend won't call me back. OMG she's still mad at me for that thing I did four years ago." If you feel you are being ignored, do not assume it is because you did something wrong. Odds are, you didn't if you are just humbly begging someone to pay attention to you.

If all else fails, confront them:

If they are that crucial to your life and you need them to pay attention to you for your well-being, then you better straight up tell them. Well, maybe you should say it nicer, but if you feel you're not getting enough love from someone, just be honest and see what's up. Consider all the options above first, however, because we wouldn't want anyone to figure out how crazy you actually are.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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