How To Cope When You Don't Get The Attention You Want

How To Cope When You Don't Get The Attention You Want

Feeling ignored and unloved? Here is how to feel better about it.
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If you're like most people, you like receiving attention. It could go as far as having an entire crowd listen to one of your hilarious stories or just having one person that texts you back at night. As humans, we crave attention no matter how big or small. No one likes to be ignored. But sometimes, we just can't control it. This can be very upsetting for a girl who constantly craves the attention of those she loves and those she tolerates.

Like me.

I don't ask for much. I just want people to pay attention to me. Is that so wrong? Is that too much to ask? I want people to validate that my inner musings and thoughts are valued. I know I'm not alone in this. How many times do you feel like you're getting ignored by a friend, a best friend, a lab partner, a parent, a significant other, a guy you're just talking to, or your dog? Here is how I cope with not getting the attention I want.

Lower your expectations:

So part of the reason you get let down in the first place is because you have high expectations for people who do not meet them. I mean, we all know a normal person doesn't start a conversation and then not reply back. We all know it is frowned upon to just open someone's Snapchat and not reply when that snap was directed for you and only you. But clearly, some people just don't work that way. They don't get it. Don't blame them. Just understand you may have to accept that social norms such as replying to someone is a common courtesy. Try to lower your expectations of the people who constantly let you down and don't give you the attention you desire.

Give it time:

Let's face it: The world doesn't revolve around you. Shocking, I know. But sometimes people have to pee or drive or go to class. As much of a burden as this can be, you should just give it some time before you go into full panic mode. Put your phone down, take a shower, or just distract yourself. Odds are, those people in your group message will respond when the time is right.

Try to be understanding:

With finals and such closing out the semester, it's understandable that people are busy and have other priorities than talking to you. They may not have time to text you back after looking at your text (with their read-receipts on). Try to comprehend that the world does not revolve around you (hard to swallow, I know) and understand that they probably have other more important stuff that needs their immediate attention.

Consider why you need said attention:

Is it because you're bored? Or is it because you have the weight of the world on your shoulders? Is there something you need to address with this person now? A burning question? Life or death? Do you really need to talk to this person or do you just need someone to talk to? If you're just bored, I'm sure there are several other people that love you and will text you back.

Don't assume they hate you or that you did something wrong:

As humans, we love to assume the worst. "They opened my Snapchat but didn't reply. OMG they hate me". "My best friend won't call me back. OMG she's still mad at me for that thing I did four years ago." If you feel you are being ignored, do not assume it is because you did something wrong. Odds are, you didn't if you are just humbly begging someone to pay attention to you.

If all else fails, confront them:

If they are that crucial to your life and you need them to pay attention to you for your well-being, then you better straight up tell them. Well, maybe you should say it nicer, but if you feel you're not getting enough love from someone, just be honest and see what's up. Consider all the options above first, however, because we wouldn't want anyone to figure out how crazy you actually are.

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To The Nursing Major During The Hardest Week Of The Year

I know that no grade can possibly prove what kind of nurse you will be. I know that no assignment will showcase your compassion. I know that no amount of bad days will ever take away the empathy inside of you that makes you an exceptional nurse.

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To the Nursing Major During Finals Week,

I know you're tired, I know you're stressed, and I know you feel like you can't go on. I know that no part of this seems fair, and I know you are by far the biggest critic of yourself. I know that you've thought about giving up. I know that you feel alone. I know that you wonder why in the world you chose one of the hardest college majors, especially on the days it leaves you feeling empty and broken.

But, I also know that you love nursing school. I know your eyes light up when you're with patients, and I know your heart races when you think of graduation. I know that you love the people that you're in school with, like truly, we're-all-in-this-together, family type of love. I know that you look at the older nurses with admiration, just hoping and praying that you will remain that calm and composed one day. I know that every time someone asks what your college major is that you beam with pride as you tell them it's nursing, and I know that your heart skips a beat knowing that you are making a difference.

I know that no grade can possibly prove what kind of nurse you will be. I know that no assignment will showcase your compassion. I know that a failed class doesn't mean you aren't meant to do this. I know that a 'C' on a test that you studied so. dang. hard. for does not mean that you are not intelligent. I know that no amount of bad days will ever take away the empathy inside of you that makes you an exceptional nurse.

I know that nursing school isn't fair. I know you wish it was easier. I know that some days you can't remember why it's worth it. I know you want to go out and have fun. I know that staying up until 1:00 A.M. doing paperwork, only to have to be up and at clinicals before the sun rises is not fair. I know that studying this much only to be failing the class is hard. I know you wish your friends and family understood. I know that this is difficult.

Nursing school isn't glamorous, with the white lab coat and stethoscope. Nursing school is crying, randomly and a lot. Nursing school is exhaustion. Nursing school is drinking so much coffee that you lose track. Nursing school is being so stressed that you can't eat. Nursing school is four cumulative finals jam-packed into one week that is enough to make you go insane.

But, nursing school is worth it. I know that when these assignments are turned in and finals are over, that you will find the motivation to keep going. I know that one good day of making a difference in a patient's life is worth a hundred bad days of nursing school.

Keep hanging in there, nursing majors. It'll all be worth it— this I know, for sure.

So, if you have a nursing major in your life, hug them and tell them that you're proud of them. Nursing school is tough, nursing school is scary, and nursing school is overwhelming; but a simple 'thank-you' from someone we love is all we need to keep going.

Sincerely,

A third-year nursing student who knows

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To The High School Graduating Seniors

I know you're ready, but be ready.

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Seniors,

I am not going to say anything about senioritis because I was ready to get out of there and I'm sure you are too; however, in your last months living at home you should take advantage of the luxuries you will not have in a college dorm. The part of college seen in movies is great, the rest of it is incredibly inconvenient. It is better to come to terms with this While you still have plenty of time to prepare and enjoy yourself.

Perhaps one of the most annoying examples is the shower. Enjoy your hot, barefoot showers now because soon enough you will have no water pressure and a drain clogged with other people's hair. Enjoy touching your feet to the floor in the shower and the bathroom because though it seems weird, it's a small thing taken away from you in college when you have to wear shoes everywhere.

Enjoy your last summer with your friends. After this summer, any free time you take is a sacrifice. For example, if you want to go home for the summer after your freshman year and be with your friends, you have to sacrifice an internship. If you sacrifice an internship, you risk falling behind on your resume, and so on. I'm not saying you can't do that, but it is not an easy choice anymore.

Get organized. If you're like me you probably got good grades in high school by relying on your own mind. You think I can remember what I have to do for tomorrow. In college, it is much more difficult to live by memory. There are classes that only meet once or twice a week and meeting and appointments in between that are impossible to mentally keep straight. If you do not yet have an organizational system that works for you, get one.

I do not mean to sound pessimistic about school. College is great and you will meet a lot of people and make a lot of memories that will stick with you for most of your life. I'm just saying be ready.

-A freshman drowning in work

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