Christina Yang once said in "Grey’s Anatomy," “There’s a club. A dead dad’s club, and you can’t be in it until you’re in it.” As abrasive as that might sound, it’s true. I am a part of the dead mom’s club. Three years ago this upcoming May, my mom took her own life. Now I’m in this club, the dead mom’s club. The “lost a parent from suicide” club. A club I never signed up for. A club I never wanted to be in.
Suicide. It’s been a silent epidemic for decades. Why aren’t people getting help? Why is something that can be prevented affecting so many lives? It’s because of us and the way we view mental illness. We are uneducated and misinformed. It’s because of the stereotypes and the stigmas associated with it. For some reason, we’re the kind of society that mourns the suicide of Robin Williams, but laughs and mocks Amanda Bynes. We choose not to talk about it, but we mock it, degrade those who have it, and choose to downplay its severity. When would it stop being funny, when she kills herself, too? Because it’s all fun and games until someone dies, right? Does Amanda Bynes need to die by suicide before we will start valuing her life?
It’s rumored, but not confirmed, that Amanda Bynes has both bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. If this is indeed true, she faces an uphill battle. These are both diseases with high mortality rates and devastating symptoms that are difficult to treat. While she faces these illnesses, the entire world is watching. Mental illness does not exist to amuse you. To have the audacity of laughing and poking fun as she struggles with these painful disorders is truly disgusting because over 70 percent of people with both of these disorders will attempt suicide in their lifetime. You would think this would frighten us and that we would be offering Bynes compassion on the mere basis that what she may be facing is, without a doubt, deadly.
The use of terms like “crazy” and “insane,” beyond driving the stigma that separates people from getting the help they both need and deserve to receive without shame, also mislabels those who are suffering. When we make these disorders into a joke, we become complicit in creating a culture where mentally ill people are taught to feel ashamed, isolated, and broken. When we uphold that stigma instead of challenging it, it’s not surprising that so many people with these illnesses opt to take their own lives. When you step back and look at it, you can’t help but think, "What the hell society?" We can’t continue to talk about mental illness and suicide without actually talking about mental illness and suicide.
The other day I was at Target to grab a few things, and I stopped to get some coffee from Starbucks. This used to be a pretty regular occurrence with my mom. She'd get her coffee, and I would usually get a strawberry or vanilla smoothie. We would spend what seemed like hours walking around. As I was waiting for my drink, I saw a purple Starbucks cup. Purple, her favorite color. And I thought to myself, "Wow, she'd love this. I could buy it for her and surprise her." And in that moment, I forgot that she's gone. And was very sadly and heartbreakingly reminded that she is. Enough is enough. Don’t lose your reason for buying purple cups.
