Sexual Consent: For Dummies

Sexual Consent: For Dummies

"It's simple as tea."
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Coming into college, I didn't think that sexual assault really happened - especially at a place like Wake. In fact, I heard so little about it before I went away to school that I didn't even know what consent really meant other than saying "yes" or "no." While attending one of the mandatory sexual assault prevention seminars before my first semester at Wake began, we were shown a video that will stick with me forever: Consent - it's simple as tea.

1. Consent cannot be forced or coerced.

"Just because you made them a cup of tea doesn't mean that you're entitled to watch them drink it."

You can't pour tea down someone's throat like you can't force sex upon someone who doesn't want it. You can't make someone feel bad about not wanting tea, or sex, just because you prepared it for them. It's simple - if someone doesn't want it, then don't give it to them.

2. Consent can be withdrawn.

"They might say 'Yes, please! That's kind of you.' and when the tea arrives, they actually don't want the tea at all."

We've all had those moments where we make a cup of tea, a meal, whatever, and change our minds. Suddenly, that green tea looks a little bit less appetizing or you decide you would really rather have mac and cheese instead of that salad, and that's okay. Just because you make somebody a cup of tea who wanted it earlier, doesn't mean that they have to drink it. Similarly, if somebody wanted to have sex and changes their mind, you are not entitled to it and they are not obligated to perform that act.

3. There are times when people cannot consent.

"Unconscious people don't want tea."

If somebody is unconscious, under the influence of drugs or alcohol, or coerced, they cannot give consent. If somebody consents prior to any of those mentioned, then falls asleep or under the influence, they cannot consent. "You should just put the tea down."

4. Consent must be given each and every time.

"If someone said yes to tea around your house last Saturday, that doesn't mean they want you to make them tea all the time."

Just because somebody consents at one time does not mean that they consent to any future sexual encounters.


"If you can understand how completely ludicrous it is to force people to have tea when they don't want tea, and you're able to understand when people don't want tea, then how hard is it to understand it when it comes to sex?"

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I Drank Lemon Water For A Week And Here's What Happened

It has already changed my life.

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There are so many health crazes out there now, it's hard to tell what actually works and what doesn't; or more importantly what is healthy and what is making your body worse. I read about simply drinking lemon water and I figured that didn't sound gross or bad for me so I figured I would give it a try. I've been drinking it consistently for a week and a half and I already notice some results.

I've never been a fan of lemon in my water, I always refuse it at restaurants. You definitely have to find your sweet spot in lemon to water ratio, in what tastes good to you. I personally cut the lemon into quarters and use on quarter per day. I put the lemon quarter in the bottle and then continuously fill with water throughout the day. I still get the yummy lemon flavor all day because I do not squeeze the lemon. It took about a bottle or two to get used to the lemon flavor, and now I just crave it.

Lemon water is supposed to speed up your metabolism. Obviously, a week is not long enough to tell if this is fact or fiction but I have noticed a change in appetite. I feel like I do not get hungry as often as I did before. I saw this effect within 24-48 hours of starting the experiment. This seems opposite to a fast metabolism but we'll see.

I definitely feel more hydrated with lemon water. I drink a lot of water anyways, about 80 oz a day but for some reason with the lemon, it makes me feel better. I don't feel as sluggish, I'm not getting hot as easily, and my skin feels amazing. I am slightly skeptical though because the lemon almost makes my tongue dry requiring me to drink more water, so I have upped my intake by about 20oz. I'm unsure if the hydration is due to the extra water, the lemon, or both!

My face is clearing up and feels so much softer too, in only a week! I have not gotten a new pimple since I have started my lemon water kick, may be coincidence but I'm not going to argue with it.

I also feel skinnier as I feel like I'm not holding as much water weight. I only exercise lightly, for the most part, walking around a mile or two a day so we can eliminate exercise factor to the slender feeling.

I have a messy stomach. Everything upsets it, and even though lemons are very acidic, they have not affected me in a negative way at all. It almost seems like the lemon water is helping me digest the difficult foods that my stomach doesn't like. I'm nowhere near a doctor so don't trust my word but it seems to be working for me.

From the effects I've felt so far, it also seems like lemon water may be a great hangover cure! I haven't tried it but I don't see why it wouldn't work. I can't say a negative thing about drinking lemon water so far expect you have to buy the lemons! If you try this for yourself though just make sure you are using an enamel saving mouthwash or toothpaste since lemons aren't so great for your teeth.

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To The Thoughtless People, Quit Saying The "F-Word"

It's time to redefine beauty.

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If you had to guess, how many times do you think you have used the "f-word" to describe yourself or even someone else? Okay just so we are both on the same page, the "f-word" is fat. Body shaming needs to stop. Boys, this is not just an "issue" that girls deal with. As in, "Does this make me look fat?" has become the new "Does this look bad?", "She'd be cuter if she lost 10 pounds," "I would be prettier if I was skinnier." I could keep going.

We call ourselves and others this horrible "f-word" without even thinking twice. Even though this is such a common thing to say, it comes with harmful feelings and puts a lot of weight on your shoulders (hehe). I am guilty of this. We are all guilty of this. But, we have to start somewhere to stop the negativity that comes along with body-shaming.

Last year, big butts were in style. Then it was big boobs, then it was long hair, then it was short hair, then blondes, then tan skin, ugh I could keep naming more. Point is, looking a certain way should not be a "trend." Being the most beautiful version of yourself should be the trend. It doesn't matter the color of your hair, eyes, size on your jeans, size of your shoes, length of your hair, etc. Why can't we be happy with how God made us? I am preaching to myself as well.

There is not a perfect body type. We need to accept that we and everyone else has a unique body type. Everyone is not going to look like a model, not everyone is going to be curvy. And that is OKAY. Body shaming is not specific to either men or women, but I do believe that women deal with this on a much deeper level then men do. As women, we have much higher expectations put on us to look a certain way. As women, stop feeling too prideful to compliment other women. Even if it is simple as that you love her earrings. As women, we have created this sense of competition between each other and god forbid we compliment one another. Instead, we just have jealousy towards each other and I know you've heard this before but jealousy isn't cute!

At the end of the day, being happy and healthy should be the trend. If your happiness is 10 pounds "overweight" but you are enjoying your life, not depriving yourself of food, then so be it. If your happiness is having a six-pack, counting calories, and being a gym rat, then SO BE IT. Skinny does not mean beautiful. Gym rat does not mean healthy. You are healthy when you take care of yourself and wake up each day happy with who you are. I pray and hope that one day we, including myself, can make the conception of beauty and the idea of being in good shape unique to each and every person. We are not meant to all be the same. If we were all the same, that would be kind of boring. Don't you think?

Ban the "f-word."

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