This is one of those topics that it's hard to form an introduction for. I could give you some cliché about how everything will get better, or some speech about how sucky a breakup is to go through, but I'm sure this is the same thing all those friends and family will tell you over what is supposed to be a reassuring phone call. Although you may feel hopeless right now, I can promise you that reading this article will restore that faith in you, even if it's for a short period of time.
In short, I was sitting in my same bed seven months ago Googling "how to make breakup pain go away". I had gone through more tissue boxes than I could keep track of, and a week felt way too long for me to continue to have these feelings. Much to my dismay, every single article said the same thing: "It will get better, just continue to have faith!". I wanted to chuck my computer across the room at that point. Seeing millions of people saying they're so much better after a breakup won't help you when you're down in the dumps, and I can attest to that firsthand. But, in what was the worst of my frustration, I found myself at a crossroads
I could continue to sulk in my misery, or I could choose to let myself grow. Objectively, growing is the obvious option, but when you're stuck in such a difficult spot, it's a lot harder to feel that motivation. But I was tired of it. I went to the mirror, looked at my puffy eyes, and decided that no matter how badly it hurt, I needed to face what I was going through, and stop being afraid of it. It's the only way I would grow.
And there was one obstacle in my way. Feelings. They're almost unpredictable, and they'll often confuse you. You will wish to eradicate and get rid of those emotions, and to be honest, the way to do that is what I looked for when I was doing my Google search. But, much to my dismay, I wasn't going to get through this if I didn't embrace these emotions. They're uncomfortable, daunting, and scary. But, this is something I feel like isn't said enough. You are human, and you are entitled to every emotion that you feel. There is not "good" or "bad", rather "uncomfortable" and "comfortable".
So give yourself a break from that negative self-talk. You don't "need" to not cry, or "need" to stop feeling sad. Because having feelings is important. It helps you contemplate what your relationship was, what you lost, and how you can move forward without that. If you don't give yourself the opportunity to feel these things, how can you move past them? So please, if there's anything I want you to read in this article, it's the following: Let yourself cry and cry until you have no tears left; let yourself be so frustrated that you scream and let it all out; let yourself reminisce over the memories and contemplate the magnitude of your loss. The only thing that you "should" be doing is working through your emotions.
I lied at the beginning of the article when I made fun of those silly clichés. I want you to realize that the same girl who googled these answers seven months ago is living a life better than she could've imagined. As a student, I have found so many reasons to love myself, the people around me, and the things I do. I have developed new passions, newfound confidence, and an incredible motivation that never would've existed before my breakup. I'm not here to tell you my sob story, but I want to show you that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Even if it's not clear now, I promise you that there will be soon. If there's nothing else that you take away from this, I want you to hang on. Hang on with all of that strong will that I know you are capable of having. Because in time, you will find that the other side of what seems like a mountain is absolutely beautiful.
