That quiet girl that sits in the front of the class and barely participates in discussion or group activities might not be as shy as she appears, but suffers from over-active-sarcasm and lives in constant fear that she will offend someone when she opens her mouth. The possibility that her humor won’t be funny to classmates or professors causes her to glance downward as she stifles a giggle in the middle of a lecture, making her appear extremely reserved.

The fact that not everybody understands sarcasm suggests a boundary that separates those who understand sarcasm and those who do not. Scrolling through articles, Psychology Today, study after study, research paper after research paper, I found to my dismay many negative articles on my favorite form of communication, sarcasm. My defense mode kicked in, motivating me to write this. I wondered is sarcasm all bad?

Next, I grabbed “The Official Dictionary of Sarcasm” by James Napoli, Executive Vice President of the National Sarcasm Society (yes, there is a sarcasm society). This is a guide for all your sarcastic needs; as Napoli states on the back cover, “not that you give a crap” (Napoli). Upon reading this, I felt reassured that sarcasm is humorous—but what exactly is sarcasm?

Sarcasm exists strongly in the English language, making a mark in our daily conversations; creating series of sitcoms, stand-up comedy, and humor columns in the New Yorker; establishing forums on the internet, memes on Facebook, and hashtags on Twitter—almost creating an entirely new language. Yet, not a universal one. So why is sarcasm difficult to understand and why does it have such a bad rep?

The word 'sarcasm' comes from the Greek word sarkezein which literally translates as “to tear flesh" according to Merriam-Webster.

When we are sarcastic, we are not literally tearing the recipient’s flesh, yet like sarcasm itself, metaphorically, in many ways we are.

The snarling comments often injure one like the tearing of flesh.

“Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me,” is a false adage indicating that words have no effect on us at all. This simply is not true. Based on the way in which our self-esteem levels fluctuate depending on approval from others, we depend on words to communicate the things that encourage us, help us differentiate right from wrong and criticize us. Sarcasm is a statement of one positive meant to mean a negative opposite.

Sarcasm sometimes forms as criticism or a compliment. Pazzanese, a Harvard staff writer, suggested that the “mental gymnastics” involved in the interpretation of sarcasm leads smart-alecks to believe they are intellectually better than the straight-forward. I, myself, have come to use the term sarcasm generously to refer to all inappropriate humor. In my opinion, there is a difference between saying something cruel or cynical and laughing about it, and using abstract communication to express one thing by saying another.

The line is blurred between sarcasm and passive aggression, between sarcasm and facetiousness.

Sarcasm is a type of both, but in its purest self, it is not either of these. It’s easier to examine what sarcasm is not, to better understand what sarcasm is.

Facetious originated from the Latin word facetus, meaning witty, and Merriam-Webster says the word is “used to describe speech that is meant to be funny but that is usually regarded as annoying, silly, or not proper. Sarcasm is defined as “the use of words that mean the opposite of what you want to say, especially in order to insult someone, to show irritation or to be funny.”

The confusion between these two has resulted in the broadening of the usage of the word sarcasm. We generalize it and overuse. We think all inappropriate humor is sarcastic. We define personalities by either being sarcastic or not having a sense of humor as if it’s one or the other. Sarcasm navigates deeper than surface-level humor in our psychology; it functions as our coping mechanisms, sometimes through passive aggression.

In some ways, I even confuse sarcasm with inside jokes. I always thought that sarcasm was a sort of specialized, unique form of expressing information that only a few people will get. But that is the exact definition of an inside joke: “a joke that is understood only by people with special knowledge about something,” The differences between these types of humor is crucial in understanding the uniqueness of sarcasm.

The negative aspects of sarcasm are abundant, especially psychologically. Have you ever had a compliment about your outfit in the form of a snide comment, leaving you wondering if it was actually a compliment or a form of subtle bullying? Sarcasm can leave people immune to compliments, making them think that when someone says something nice, it’s a joke. When someone is rude, they laugh it off, because that too might be sarcasm, but how can they truly ever know?

“You can’t take a joke anymore,” my friend said. To which I wanted to respond, “I can’t take your passive-aggression anymore.” Our relationship is summarized by snide quips and mean remarks, accentuated with a laugh and smirk. You have to be thick-skinned to hang out with us, but why? Why must we poke at each other, especially when it isn’t funny anymore? The not-so-subtle counterparts are the passive-aggression that blare through the sarcastic comments.

Criticism tries to hide in sarcasm, but it is difficult for it to squeeze its big furry butt behind the narrow tree of humor.

At times, we hide behind sarcasm to insinuate things of deeper and problematic meaning.

Instead of straightforwardly saying that we don’t like something the other person did, maybe it was something they said or did to us, maybe they forgot to take out the trash after repeated requests or called you that name you specifically told them not to call you. I am not a white girl, I swear—as I order my Venti Extra Whip Strawberry Vanilla Frappuccino.

A problem I have encountered personally as a result of sarcasm is the inability to communicate effectively because sometimes people don’t know if I actually mean the opposite of what I’m saying. How can this be resolved? I’ve been so wounded that somebody compliments me and I take it the wrong way, I take it as the opposite. Being able to understand sarcasm and see the possible opposite of every statement comes with problems.

“You clean up good!” a well-meaning husband says to his wife.

“What is that supposed to mean?” she retorts.

The compliment turns offensive when she assumes he means she doesn’t always look good, that it is only at this point in time that she has achieved beauty. Then why is sarcasm so fun?

“Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, but the highest form of intelligence,” stated Oscar Wilde.

A well-known quote by a well-known author. Science suggests that this is true. “The prefrontal lobe is known to be involved in pragmatic language processes and complex social cognition. According to the article "Highest Functions of Brain Produce Lowest Form of Wit" by David Adam published in The Guardian, the ventromedial section is linked to personality and social behavior.”

Any sort of loss in these areas makes it impossible for a person to understand and interpret irony and sarcasm. “First, the language center in the brain's left hemisphere interprets the literal meaning of words. Next, the frontal lobes and right hemisphere process the speaker's intention and check for contradictions between the literal meaning and the social and emotional context. Finally, the right ventromedial prefrontal cortex—our sarcasm meter—makes a decision based on our social and emotional knowledge of the situation.”

Irony is a major component to sarcasm, a term that we often heard in our high school English class regarding the short story we read. I usually thought it referred to something that wasn’t logical, yet it is the statement of one thing to mean the opposite. Now, the amount of effort it takes to follow this sort of communication makes it easy to see why some people won’t be able to understand it.

According to a study done by researchers Huang Gino, and Galinsky, “both sarcasm expressers and recipients reported more conflict but also demonstrated enhanced creativity.” Sure, sarcasm stipulates plenty of problems: passive-aggression, criticism. But where is everybody’s sense of humor?

The study by Francesca Gino of Harvard Business School, Adam Galinsky, Professor of Business at Columbia Business School, and Li Huang of INSEAD, the European business school examines this. They state that sarcasm “can facilitate creativity by increasing abstract thinking” (Huang, Gino, and Galinsky). Attending a Liberal Arts college, abstract thinking is the premise of the curriculum. I value this. Sarcasm as a method of communication leads to potential problems: misunderstanding, confusion, and hurt feelings.

The expresser of sarcasm views it as “more amusing and less aggressive” than the recipient (Huang, Gino, and Galinsky).

The same goes for the observer. It makes sense that the recipient, at whose expense the joke is directed, perceives more aggression. Sarcasm functions at the expense of the recipient who in turn experiences and benefits from no form of creativity, like the observer and expresser. However, the true humor and fun in sarcasm is the ability to respond, quickly and ingeniously, firing back a response.

I enjoy people who not only understand sarcasm but effectively show their wit by responding with sarcasm. An exchange like this can happen spontaneously, say on a plane, two strangers joking at the expense of the flight crew, sharing an instant mutual trust that did not exist before.

A key factor in successful sarcasm for communication is interpersonal trust.

Pondering why we use sarcasm, I examined my own life and the instances that sarcasm is most prevalent. It’s a coping mechanism. It is a way for me to express my thoughts inadvertently. It’s a method for my brain to process complicated, uncomfortable things in a humorous way. It’s the comic relief to my life.

Last night my friend said, “Now I have to live at home with my parents.” My roommate says, “Who wouldn’t want to do that!” And in that moment I realized what sarcasm really is. Because I can literally think of many people who would not want to live with their parents. Sarcasm happened so rarely that the entire night we were simply being facetious—making inappropriate jokes, insulting jabs, and sexual innuendos. And that’s when my appreciation for sarcasm spiked.

Crafting sarcasm, one must be analytical, one must say the opposite of what they mean in a way that presents itself as humorous. Sarcasm requires a lot of thinking and it’s only funny if the thinking is done rapidly. Interactions with sarcasm are unique—there are drawbacks to it, evident in my life when I can’t seem to handle my problems, much less a joke—but there are benefits that outweigh this in a trusting environment. Sarcasm potentially tears relationships apart, but it also does the opposite.

So the quiet girl in the front of the class may be more complicated than she looks, her mind races with sarcastic responses and inappropriate jokes, her brain is on overload at all times. That blank stare she directs at the blackboard results from a numbing abundance of humor, sometimes she’s facetious and she has her inside jokes, but sometimes, when she formulates the perfect response, she is sarcastic. Sarcasm: the true art form of humor.