Helen had just finished cooking dinner when the phone rang. It was her sister Leslie wanting to know if she could come over and talk about something very important. Helen had no idea what Leslie needed to tell her, but hoped it wasn’t something she needed to be strong for; her constitution wasn’t quite the same since the separation. Helen was the oldest of four girls, and all her sisters leaned on her for strength throughout their lives. She really wasn’t equipped to deal with Leslie’s news if it wasn’t good. She decided to pick up a little bit before she arrived. The house had been in total disarray since Allen had left so abruptly. She was still in shock that he could leave her so easily. She still had not realized the extent of the damage that was done to both Allen and her marriage. When explaining her predicament to others, she states, “All I did was…” Leaving even the most uncaring individuals quite confused at the immovable state of denial that had just been presented. When questioned, she shrugs it off and acts like she was just treated rudely.
Before Helen could finish her task, Leslie arrived and stormed in with a burst of anger. “How dare you?” Leslie screamed; a tear forming in her eye.
“How dare I what?” Helen retorted. “You’ve ruined everything! Allen promised to help me with tuition, and now he has reneged! All because of you, and your selfish fat mouth!”
Leslie was just about to add more color to her remarks when Helen abruptly slapped her face and screamed, “You have no right coming into my house attacking me with your petty problems.”
“If it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t have the education to scream about!” I have had enough of this family taking Allen’s side!” “If you can’t support me, your own blood, then get out! I have no use for louses like you in my life!” Leslie had no idea that her sister could be so cold.
“Something has changed in you,” Leslie said. “You used to be so positive and radiant. Now I feel like I am talking to a withered old woman.” Helen didn’t know what to say. She murmured something about Leslie being ungrateful, but Leslie was already on her way out the door. Helen felt the emptiness inside her grow as she watched her drive away.
Allen returned to his apartment jaded. He was so excited before he left. He was ready to start a new chapter in his life. Instead, a few chapters from his old one were more out of reach. Allen thought this could be a blessing or a curse depending on how he played his cards. He could always forgive Helen and go back to his old life. He knew this is what Helen was counting on. She would take him back with open arms if he would forgive her for what she did. He knew this was impossible though. He could go back and act like he forgave her, but he never really could. It wouldn’t be long before the resentment crept back in to topple it all over again. Helen still hadn’t even accepted that she was wrong for Christ sake. There was no fixing this, and Allen knew it. On the other hand, he could just walk away from everything and start anew. In that case, the old chapters of his life would be nothing but fleeting memories without importance. He was at a crossroad, and he had nothing to gain or lose at this point. He thought about this being the scariest or the most wonderful place he could possibly be. He caught himself speaking out loud saying, “How are you going to act, dumb ass.” He had no answer. So he let it be.
Winter wasn’t getting any milder. March came in like a lion, and the signs of spring that were expected seemed to be an eon away. The winter’s grip had not loosened on Allen and Helen’s situation either. Allen still hadn’t spoken to Helen. Not even one word. He was up to his neck in advice from many caring individuals that were just looking out for him. None of them saying anything about how great they felt that it wasn’t them. Allen had thought this undertaking was going to work out for the best. He couldn’t have been more wide off the mark. Every step he took was like navigating a quagmire. Helen wasn’t giving up, and he knew deep down that her constitution was stronger than his, and her, not him, would persevere. She had stopped running her mouth; that was a plus, but unfortunately, the damage had been already done. It behooved him how someone could be so cold as to use his words against him. Words he spewed in anger no less, with no foundation. His wife, his trusted love, offered these words to the one person who should never hear them, the only one they could harm. In this case, it happened to be his best friend and business partner. It wouldn't have been as bad if she had told him these things in jest, but she didn’t. She delivered them with all the malevolence that she could muster, and brought their whole world down. This side of Helen he didn’t understand. She was the loveliest girl when he met her. A virtual prom queen. The girl with it all together; everything in the right place. He longed for that Helen. He felt safe with that Helen. Allen was on the brink of a nervous breakdown, and no one was going to be around to pick up the pieces... To be continued in Part III
