Picture a huge table stretching the length of the dining room, each side crowded with people, a constant roar of voices as food is passed up and down the table. Glasses clink and elbows bump as the family begins to eat while trying to maneuver the crowded table.
Although this was the type of family I thought I wanted as a young kid, it is a far cry from my childhood reality. Instead of a giant table packed end to end, my family of three fit perfectly at our quiet but cozy table tucked in the corner of our kitchen. While it used to bother me that my house didn’t have the constant hustle and bustle that my friends’ homes did, growing up as an only child has taught me to recognize and appreciate the aspects of my family life that my friends might not share.
1. My parents are my best friends.
Growing up without any other kids in the house led to a lot of quality time with Mom and Dad. Vacations consist of some serious bonding time, and Christmas morning is simple and filled with special family traditions. Although undivided attention is a lot to handle, 18 years of hanging out with my parents formed our solid relationships. My mom fills the sister void and is always there for shopping trips, fashion advice, and gossip sessions while my dad tries to emulate what it is like living with brothers. Parents may not be the same as siblings, but they can serve as pretty great best friends.
2. I am comfortable interacting with adults.
When your whole life has consisted of following your parents around to various dinners and events at which the average age is at least three times your own, you learn how to talk to adults. Without any siblings to cling to as a kid, I nervously gripped my mom’s sleeve as she towed me around. As I grew older, I quickly learned that it was OK to leave my mom’s side because the years of practice of talking to adults had helped me develop a level of maturity uncommon for my age. As a kid, I dreaded having to interact with adults. Now, it is one of my strengths I value most.
3. I get to pick my family.
For many people their siblings are automatic best friends for life. Related by blood, how can you beat that? While few relationships can rival those of sisters, I have the unique opportunity to find and pick similar relationships for myself. I get to piece together my “family” of carefully chosen people with whom I have fostered a friendship from scratch. There’s no doubt that this takes more time and effort, but in the end it yields the same results.
4. I have a healthy self-esteem.
Only children are expected to be spoiled and bratty because our parents are always telling us we are the best. But in reality, most of us were just lucky enough to grow up on the receiving end of constant love and encouragement that led to a healthy dose of self-confidence. This doesn’t mean we think too highly of ourselves. Instead, it means that we were raised in a household that fostered a positive self-image. As an only child my parents constantly challenged me, but also told me that I was capable of anything I’m willing to work for. As a result, I never felt inadequate or afraid of not meeting expectations. I am always proud of myself.
5. I’m independent.
The one aspect of being an only child I hated most was the fact that I never had siblings to play with. My 7-year-old self considered this a fatal flaw of my childhood. But, what my young mind couldn’t understand was that it was really training me to develop a quality crucial to my adult life. While my parents were busy with chores or work, I didn’t have anyone to depend on to create fun games to play or help me if a problem arose. So, I learned that I was capable of doing it all myself. What started as simply entertaining myself as a kid has developed into a strong sense of independence in all aspects of my life.
While any of these qualities are obviously attainable, only child or not, I credit my childhood without siblings with helping me to foster these core values. Although it took 18 years, I value my life as an only child and the person it has helped me to become.
