I’m sure everyone’s heard this one before. Your family, friends, teachers, even that uncle you see once a year have inevitably asked this question: What college are you going to? Maybe you knew right away, the answer rolling off your tongue like it belonged there on your lips. Maybe your parents had been putting you in UCLA body suits since you were a baby. Maybe you'd always dreamed of going to Dartmouth or Harvard Law. Maybe in the midst of college visits, you went to one and could instantly check all the others off the list because you knew you'd found it. But maybe, just maybe, you were like me, and as this article would suggest, "the first time’s a charm" is simply not the case.
Let’s just get it out there: My first year of college I ended up going to a school that I had never planned on going to. In fact, I was so adamant that my going there was completely out of the question, that I stated I wouldn’t even apply there. But, with my mother’s encouragement and with the excuse of “just because,” I ended up applying. I continued my college search, but with all the schools I visited, I never felt swayed by a single one.
Amidst all the hype of knowing when it’s right, the scary truth was that I couldn’t see myself going anywhere. So from a crazy twist of events and some indecision later, I found myself at the college that I never in a million years saw myself going to. Looking back at it now, there’s a funny saying that rings true: "Do you want to make God laugh? Make plans." My shocking decision came with an extra surprise though, as life often does, and I found a best friend in the beautiful person of my roommate; when you can get through the year living with someone in a cramped space without a single fight, you know you’ve found a keeper. I even found supportive professors who were invested in my future! Why would this crazy woman ever transfer, you ask?
Well, with all the advice I’ve been given over finding a college, several things stuck. Sometimes finding the right college is like a love story (stay with me here). Like dating, you have to take a risk and find what you like and don’t like, and then if what you need isn’t there, you need to move on and find the one that provides it. Is this place causing you to grow as a person? Is it stretching you to see from different perspectives and be exposed to the world outside of the bubble? I contemplated these questions over and over again in my mind, and this summer I debated it constantly, the anxiety rising and honestly giving me the biggest headaches. I’d procrastinate to try and avoid facing the issue, go on Tumblr to kill time, and in doing so found a simple quote that put to words exactly what I was feeling and gave reason to why I couldn’t seem to make up my mind.
“I don’t know. I just feel stuck, like I’m afraid to take any steps, in case they’re the wrong ones.” – Rebecca Stead.
I’d felt stuck at college and now, I felt trapped in my own seemingly constant indecision about my life. On top of everything else, I wasn’t 100 percent sure which career to pursue—and honestly I’m still trying to figure that out. I had to decide whether to transfer colleges to go into screenwriting or to continue on at the small liberal arts school. It would’ve been comfortable for me to stay because I’d made several close friends and had good relationships with my professors, but I still couldn’t forget the feeling I’d had when I was there. This same feeling, this pressing anxiety that there was something else out there for me, and I was just lying still, watching it slip away. It is easy to stay at a place where you’ve gotten comfortable, but I decided that I couldn’t stay at a school I wasn’t excited about, that I needed to stretch my stiff legs and get off the couch.
That I needed to make a change.
Change.
A simple word, but it’s one that comes with a lot of mixed emotions. It’s new, it’s exciting, it’s adventurous! But then you think, "Crapola. Now I actually have to do it." Now, I have to start all over again. Now, I’m completely alone again. Now, I’m going to room with a stranger again. There are pros and cons to anything, but when you’re a transfer student, it kind of puts a special brand on you. Most of my friends are staying at their schools, and it kind of makes you embarrassed to admit to the move because they always ask why? Somehow, that question made me feel that it was my fault for changing my mind. According to “The Chronicle of Higher Education,” it turns out that a third of students now transfer before they get a degree. So, I daresay that changing your mind is not that uncommon.
Change is good. Sure it’s hard to jump the gun and do it—by no means is it easy, and it’s downright scary when you jump and realize you have no idea what’s beneath you in the great unknown, but it’s good. It’s healthy. As cheesy as it sounds, life is all about the journey, the little moments, and the day-to-day. Who’s to say that a 19-year-old can’t be unsure about her future? You make new friends and create new experiences. You live in a new city and decide to try a new major. You follow your heart whatever intimidating adventure it leads you to, and you’ll be okay. Besides, it’s only four years of your life, after all.
Just like I didn’t expect to meet such amazing people at my prior college, who knows what’s in store for me now? Maybe I’ll meet more lovely people who will impact my life in such positive ways or meet helpful professors who will be more than willing to offer assistance in internships. Perhaps I’ll even find something more. In a period of uncertainty, there’s always possibility.
And that is exciting.








