Dear freshman ladies,
Congratulations, you have made it through your first semester. For most of you, this is probably the biggest change you've ever had in your life and possibly one of the biggest challenges you've ever had to face. Entering your first year of college is, yes, exciting and fun, but it is also terrifying and intimidating... and that is what people normally leave out of the conversation. Of course, they mention exploring new things, going out to parties, taking actually interesting classes, finding your people, finding yourself, blah blah blah. And although all of that is true, it disguises the underrated struggle of coming to a brand new place and having to figure out your place in a world of which you know nothing. How can you find yourself in a brand new place with brand new people? How can you figure out who you are and where you are at the same time? It is okay to feel uncomfortable and it is okay to feel nervous. I can promise that you are not the only one.
I'd like to give you some advice that I wish someone had given me my freshman year. There is nothing worse than feeling like you are alone, and I hope that this gives you even the slightest reminder that you are not.
It's OK to miss your friends and family.
I cannot stress this one enough. I called my mom every single day of freshman year and I thought that there was something wrong with me. But think about it, you've spent your whole life surrounded by your parents. The notion that you could start a whole new journey without their guidance is absurd. Of course, this is your new start, but it is appropriate to have someone who truly knows you help you along the way. The same goes for your home friends. When I first arrived at college, my friends from home and I texted every detail of our lives into our group message. Sometimes we still do that. I thought: They all know me and I don't need to explain my weird quirks to them, like how I sing "Part of Your World" from "The Little Mermaid" in the shower or how I eat an obscene amount of pickles. The same goes for you too. You cannot expect to enter a brand new place and take it on all on your own. Your parents or your friends from home are what you know and have held dear to your heart for your entire life. You are not crazy to want their support and comfortability when you are tossed into something so unfamiliar. As long as it doesn't interfere with building new relationships, talking to the people who know you well can actually be beneficial.
It's OK to not know what you want to do for the rest of your life.
How are you supposed to know what you want when this is the first time you have ever even tried something new? For me, college was the first time I truly experienced anything out of my comfort zone. There is so much out there in the world, and my little corner of suburban Pennsylvania simply didn't offer me the chances to explore. Look at it like this: In order to make a good decision, you need to be presented with all of the choices... and Allentown, Pa. just wasn't giving me many choices to work with. This is why college is so special. Where else will you find a place that offers you literally everything and anything that one could possibly be interested in? Universities nowadays have every single club or major that you could imagine. Go out and try whatever you want, because this is the only place where you'll have the chance to try out for the juggling team, join the Foreign Film Honors Society, or study abroad in Uzbekistan. Hey, you never know what hidden talent you might reveal or what Eastern European cutie you might find. Bottom line is, the world presents you with many fascinations and you just need to figure out which one is yours. But do not rush it; college gives you ample possibilities for passions; now, all you have to do is find one, and nurture it. If you don't find it, then it will find you.
It's OK to still be looking for your people.
But I can almost promise that you will eventually find them. It just takes time. Think about it: you didn't become best friends with your home friends in three months! Everyone is so eager to make friends and have fun with the first people they meet when they first get to college, so if you don't think your first semester crowd feels like home yet, that's totally normal. Use second semester to meet people in your new classes, try new clubs, go Greek, or even further develop your current friendships. Regardless, college is for you, and no one else. So, spend the next four years with people that make you genuinely happy. It might take a little longer than you had anticipated to find them, but it will be worth it.
It's OK to try new things.
Now, I'm not saying to go out and shoot up heroin, people. I mean that you should have an open mind. Like I mentioned before, most universities are drowning in unique clubs that are waiting for people like you, people who want to make the best of college. I encourage you to leave any previous judgement, opinions, or standards at home and open your eyes to things you may have never even considered trying, such as Greek life or even the Battleship intramural team. I'll tell you one thing: I can be a stubborn know-it-all, and when I first came to college, I had absolutely no interest in joining a sorority... but I did. And you know what? It was the best decision I ever made. It not only introduced me to my best friend, offered me other opportunities to get involved on campus, and completely revolutionized my college experience as a whole, but it also gave me a tenacious confidence and strong sense of self. I know, I sound like a typical srat girl, but it's just the truth. And you can find a niche like this, too, wherever it may be. You just have to open your eyes to some things you may have never considered before.
It's OK to be nervous or shy.
The idealistic freshman year kind of implies that everyone is outgoing and extroverted, but that is simply not the case. In fact, I'd say even those who seem extroverted may actually have the mind of an introvert. Yes, you need to have social skills and talk to people you don't know and make friends and yadeeyada, but for most people, that's a challenge in itself. That is totally normal. Before college, most people spend their entire lives surrounded by the same people and are thrown into this new college scene and are expected to immediately make new friends. How intimidating for someone who isn't a natural extrovert. So to the shy kids: try to talk to at least one new person each day. Even if just to say one or two words, like "thank you" to someone for holding the door open for you. And it will get easier to talk to people you don't know. I know that you are quiet, but I know you have a lot to say. College is the place to say it.
It's OK to reach out to upperclassmen.
This is so important. Upperclassmen are here to help you because they have been through it all. I know that you don't want to seem inept, or awkward, or annoying, or you don't want to bother them, but I promise that you are not. They want to help. They know that as freshmen, they would have loved for an upperclassmen to give them advice, directions to a class, or even a recommendation at a dining hall. Please, please, please reach out to upperclassmen.
It's OK to do everything.
This is my favorite one. If you get anything out of this letter, I hope that it is that I want you to say yes to almost everything. Obviously, don't agree to do things that could be harmful to your health or well-being, but I really encourage you to take very opportunity and give it a chance. Say yes to getting lunch, to a date party, to sharing a table, to grinding with a random frat star, to traveling, to meeting new people, even to freakin' taking one more shot than you probably should. I truly encourage you all to take every chance you get to try something new because it honestly may change your life. I tried something I thought that I would hate, but I loved it so much that it ended up transforming my college career. If presented with an opportunity, just freakin' do it. Give everything and everyone a fair chance.
So there you have it. My little piece of wisdom as my first semester of sophomore year comes to a close. I hope that this helped you even a little, but if not, then that's OK too. You might not even need my help, which in that case, you go, girl. You have so much to offer your college, so please don't be afraid to share it. This is your first step into the real world, so strap on those Michael Kors wedges and strut on in.
