I am the President of the Massachusetts Association of Blind Students, which is a division of the National Federation of the Blind of Massachusetts. I am also a member of the NFB Performing Arts Division. By all accounts, I am considered a leader, but I don't always feel that I am good enough.

I've always been hard on myself, whether it was crying over one wrong homework answer in 4th grade, or crying over my lack of proficiency in spelling chords, which happened just about two days ago. I try to do my very best in everything I do, and sometimes I make mistakes. That's normal, and that's okay, but I tell myself that it's not.

There are many times I have to remind myself that I am human, not superhuman. This semester, I'm taking nine classes, and I am in an acapella group. I write these articles, and though I try to get them out every week, my homework and schedule don't always allow me to keep up. I coordinate conference calls, delegate responsibilities, and write agendas. I don't do it all on my own, and without my student board, there's no way I could, but sometimes I have doubt.

On February 24, I headed to the Embassy Suites hotel for the NFBMA annual convention after my last Friday class. A fellow peer accompanied me; he was attending convention for the first time. Throughout the weekend, I ran two meetings, was re-elected as President, and met friends old and new. There were many times when I felt empowered by everyone around me, and that I made a difference when I did something to help someone else, like giving directions to an elevator or sharing experiences I've had with other blind students. There were also times when I made a misstep, when I was given constructive criticism that I took too hard, when I didn't know how to navigate an uncomfortable situation, when all I wanted to do was burst into tears. But I had to hold it together. These were the times when I didn't allow myself to feel what I was feeling, because I had to be strong. I had to be calm and collected. I had to keep it to myself.

When I left that convention and came back to school, I wondered about what sighted people see when they look at me. Do they know my capability? Do they know what I do? If only they did.

I'm in a constant battle with myself about what being a leader means. When I am surrounded by hundreds and thousands of successful blind people at NFB conventions, I am one. I feel confident, I feel empowered, and I feel independent. Sometimes, when I'm in school, or just out in the world, I can't feel my impact. I don't know if I make a difference, if the things I do and the initiative I take gets noticed more than my blindness. I analyze every situation, and I am constantly feeling like I have to be a leader, that I am always the one who is looked to for support, and sometimes that means that I set higher expectations for myself when I have a bad day, when I didn't demonstrate or say that one little thing I'd normally say. I put so much pressure on myself, and it's something that, as a leader, I have to work on.

The more I think about it, the more I realize that I can't lead unless I'm the best that I can be, and being the best I can be means allowing myself to be human. I'm tearing up as I'm writing this, because I know that I've let this all build up, and it may be the root of all the anxiety and stress I've been having. Writing this has made me realize that it's okay if I make a mistake. I can learn from it. It's okay if I had a bad day, because the next one will be better. It's okay if I need to cry and ask for advice when I'm in a tricky situation I don't know how to handle with inaccessibility of class materials, because I thought I could handle it and be my own advocate for the tough stuff.

I've been a leader for a while now, and I've grown as a person. So to my fellow leaders, here are some things to keep in mind. Yes, you keep things running smoothly, but no one expects you to do it all by yourself. Delegate to other people, because they are there to help and give their passion to your cause and mission. Always do the best you can, and know that you're giving it your all. Don't beat yourself up if you make mistakes. No one is perfect, you'll learn from the errors. You are human! If you've had a really long day and you forget to send that email or reach out to that person, explain the situation and deal with it the next day. If you should've spoken up about something, or you didn't know how to advocate, don't be afraid to ask for help, because even the best advocates get their solutions from collaborating and brainstorming with others. If you're feeling like you're not good enough, just remember that you are only one person, and you have to manage your own life on top of all the things you love to do. Remember why you're holding your position, why you're doing your work, and remember that given your circumstances, you're doing a darn good job with what you have. While you're leading, dreaming, and achieving for the good, feeling called by passion and God to change the world, remember to love yourself, know yourself, and give yourself credit. You are a leader, and a good one, but you are human, and there's nothing wrong with that. There's always someone there to help you and hold you up the same way you help and inspire others, so lean on them. It will never stop being a learning experience. Be who you are, and do your best. If you do these things, you will be remembered, you will be respected, you will be loved, and you will achieve your goals and dreams. Best of all, you will be the best you that you can be, and you will see the truth in your strength that everyone around you sees.