Perfection is such a hard thing to achieve. It's exhausting in every way: mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I'm not entirely sure how real perfectionists do it. It's a lot of pressure for one person.
I spent a lot of time growing up feeling the pressure of always having to be perfect, or at least appearing to be perfect. But I guess that's how Indian households are. You have to be the perfect family, perfect child,and perfect student; you have to do everything with the utmost perfection, otherwise, you're a disgrace.
As a female living under the roof of Indian parents, it's almost impossible to escape the pressure of holding up their perfect reputation. It's almost impossible to say no to something you dislike and impossible to do things in the way you want because it will make your family look bad. Often that meant putting on a front just so you wouldn't be judged or didn't seem too uncultured. I spent a lot of time giving up my needs and wants to seem perfect, but that meant never learning to stick up for what I wanted, nay, needed in my life in the future. I felt like I had to make all the sacrifices to be the glue to hold the perfect household together. It was exhausting.
Being or pretending to be perfect made me lose a part of who I am that I'm still searching to find. It's the part of me that wants to stand up for my needs and desires, but often gets lost in the fear of being crushed to pieces by the pressure to no do anything "wrong." But being wrong is all that you can do when your ideas and traditional Indian ideology don't match up. It's damaging to feel like the real you is wrong in everything that you decide to do, and the only time you are right is if you're doing everything the way society wants you to.
Well, I learned the hard way that trying to satisfy everyone else's expectations leaves you feeling nothing but anger, hatred, and emptiness inside. I learned trying to make everyone understand your decisions and accept your imperfections leaves you feeling helpless. At the end of the day, no one but you can truly tell what is best for you. No ideology forced on you or judgement placed on your character is a true depiction of who you are. Only you have to understand your decisions and only you have to accept them. So, at the end of the day, it is more than okay to accept that you are not perfect. I know I am far from perfection, but that is what makes me who I am.
Happiness comes from embracing the truth within your soul. Happiness comes from not living under the rock of anyone else's expectations of you, but your own. In learning to accept yourself for your flaws, you free yourself from fitting the mold of perfection. Life is too short to live your life fitting into someone else's mold for you. Go out there and be imperfect, its better than the stress that comes with perfection. After all, being perfect is overrated.
