Hi, I'm Kaehla, and I'm a fighter.

My whole life I've been battling a condition called eczema. If you would like to read up on the symptoms of the condition, here is a link to an explanation of atopic dermatitis, A.K.A. eczema, because I'm not here to talk about the symptoms. I'm here to talk about the effect on some eczema patients, which is more than skin deep--yes, pun intended. For those people, people like me, eczema has caused serious damage to not only to our skin, but to self-esteem, happiness, and nerves over the years. Here is how I know these effects have shown me I am a fighter

This is a tweet from me two years ago. Say what you want.

Two years ago, I would have never told you I thought I looked pretty. Honestly, I couldn't stand to look in the mirror. My skin had never been so bad and I didn't know how to handle it. Imagine having dandruff, but it's all over your entire body. I know...gross. Now, if you know about eczema, you know that it's typically "just" an itch rash. But because mine was flaky, I couldn't even put on makeup, because my face would just look cake-y and flaky and tinted the color of the makeup. Not attractive.

I was actually so disgusted with myself that the sight of dust and dirt would send me into a anxiety attack. Which triggered me to flare up before my skin could heal, creating a vicious cycle of itching, flaking, and stressing. And self-conscious as I was, I constantly got this: "Kaehla, go put on lotion." "Kaehla, try this, it works." "Kaehla, you need to be using your medicine." "Kaehla, stop scratching. Stop picking." "What's wrong with you?" To everyone else, I was never doing enough to help myself. But I needed some serious help.

The funny thing about these statements is they didn't help me at all. Ha ha at my dwindling self-esteem...right? I guess people were testing how far I would go before I would break, thinking I was developing thick skin (Get it, Thick skin? Eczema jokes). In reality, I wasn't given the chance to think straight in order to do what truly would heal me because I really was broken down.

What frustrated me more than anything was that I was (and still am) passionate about healthcare. My whole college career was set up so I would become a health professional, but I was far from healthy. How would anyone take me seriously?

I shamed myself, big time. I had been top 10% in my high school senior class, but now I was doing a half-time semester and still barely passing. I was emotional all the time, and I hate being upset. I felt like I had lost my happy-go-lucky persona.

I was stressed out. It hurt to get out of bed. It hurt to stay in bed. It hurt to take a shower. It hurt to not take a shower. It hurt to do the things I love, like being outside. It hurt not to do the things I love, like being outside. I couldn't stand not being myself anymore, and although I was miserable, I knew with time I would eventually be bright and happy, because I'm a fighter.

I was about to make some MAJOR changes in my life, but that's a story for next time. To be continued...