Having a diverse palate of friends, many of which coming from different ethnic and socioeconomic backgrounds, is definitely something that not only makes for interesting conversations, but is something that is commendable, and something that reflects the image of what modern-day America should look like. However, as somebody who admittedly exhibits the Gambino Effect (he “Gambino Effect” occurs when white people are more comfortable around you than other black friends), personal experience has shown that even in college and other seemingly “educated” settings, sometimes when white people get too familiar, they say stupid things. Often times, those “stupid things” are borderline racist, and while many seemingly progressive white friends have problems accepting their own learned racism, certain phrases and behaviors, especially when repeated, don’t fly over the heads of people of color so inconspicuously. Having been in social and academic settings where seemingly educated people have shot themselves in the foot with asinine statements such as, “Black people complain about racism, but there’s no White Entertainment Television,” (WET, really?) and “We have a black president, so clearly racism is over,” I found it a matter of public service to create this list of accidentally (or maybe not accidentally) racist phrases as a guide for all of my culturally remedial white peers.
1. “I actually think [insert minority group here] are more racist.”
Can be substituted for, “Why does everything always have to be about race?”
The fact that certain people are more racially minded is a reflection of circumstance, not personal bias. Just because you may have grown up with the luxury of “not seeing color” doesn’t mean that everybody has been afforded the same privilege, and this dismissal of their viewpoints, which may have originated as some form of a defense mechanism, likely says more about you than it does about them.
2. “Everybody has a chance to make something of themselves in this day and age.”
Once again, it’s quite presumptuous to think that everybody was raised in the same circumstances that you were. While racism and prejudice are social issues, it’s important to remember that they’re economic as well, and being that they’re economic, wouldn’t it make sense to assume that if the social aspect of it still has repercussions, then the economic would as well? Well then again, maybe not, since…
3. “There are a lot of successful black people, and a lot of poor white people.”
This is very true. Being that, until recent years, white people made up the majority of the United States, it would only make sense that there are a large number of white people beneath the poverty line. This is why there’s a certain amount of ignorance around the position that minorities take advantage of the Welfare system, even though there are more white Americans on Welfare than anything, but that’s a different conversation entirely. The long and short of this is that even though there’s an amount of validity to the statement about successful minorities and poor whites, using it as an arguing point to somehow belittle the economic implications of racism is ignorant and insensitive in and of itself.
4. “Well, my family never owned slaves.”
Can be substituted for, “Only like ten percent of white people in America ever owned slaves.”
There are a few problems with these statements, and they can be addressed at length at a later date. Primarily, though, it’s important to realize that it’s not. Always. About. You. One of the biggest criticisms of white privilege, and consequently, one of the things that the “privileged” don’t seem to understand very much is that, once again, there’s more to the world than what you’re able to see in your narrow field of vision. Trans-Atlantic slavery was obviously economic, but racism against slaves and those descended from slaves came from the need to justify the act of slavery in juxtaposition with the values presented by the Founding Fathers (who also owned slaves). That being the case, many whites clung to the ideas of inferiority created by the times, even those that didn’t own slaves, because it conveniently justified their existence. Many people in their twenties have parents that lived, at least in part, through the Civil Rights era. If you can’t be confident about which side of the line your parents (or their parents) fell, your family’s “nonexistent” history of slave ownership doesn’t mean much.
5. “You’re only as oppressed as you let yourself be.”
Somewhere down the line, this idea started to formulate that “minority” groups somehow enjoyed being oppressed and marginalized, as if there was some sort of benefits package that came with it. That is absurd, not to mention counterproductive. I could just imagine going into the DMV to apply for my race card, handing my two forms of identification to the clerk while he gives me the run-down.
“Here, Mr. Black Man, all your papers are in order, and you should receive your plastic race card in about seven to ten business days. This should help with your financial aid, patronage at your local Waffle House, and give you discounts on Kool-Aid. However, there are a few caveats, such as institutional racism, being told that your natural hair is unprofessional, being followed in malls and grocery stores, higher mandatory sentencing, being a possible victim to the prison-industrial complex, oh, and of course, possible death by police, at which point all of your past offenses will come back up for all to see, and your killer will receive paid administrative leave. Wait until you’re about to apply for college, though. That Affirmative Action is a life-saver!”
Yeah… Something like that. Next.
6. “I’m not racist, but…”
Don’t even finish that sentence. Just don’t.
7. “Actually, I like Trump.”
Can be substituted for, “I’m voting Republican,” between now and December.
As a black person, the state of being tired of the stagnation, lack of sincerity, and flat-out lies of traditional politicians is definitely understandable. The sentiment that the system has failed you is definitely one that is relatable. However, siding with team Trump because the Donald “tells it how it is” has to be one of the most asinine, if not blatantly racist ideas to be continually tossed around within the past year or so. Not even discussing whether he’s sincere about the idiocy that he resonates, or whether he just strategically caters to the right market of white people, after hearing the kind of racist, misogynistic, and xenophobic rhetoric that he promotes, if you like Donald Trump for his ability to “tell it like it is,” then maybe your reality fits his narrative so well because you’re racist enough to see his perspective. Everybody’s entitled to an opinion, though.
8. “I’m not even fully white…” (Proceeds to list every minor nationality of distant ancestry)
The thing about institutional racism that seems hardest to understand (and the purpose of this list) is that racial perspective is subject to experience, and as such, to no fault of their own, many people don’t recognize their own racist tendencies. However, many lack certain perspectives because of their lack of experience. Before people see anything else, before they see one’s religion, before they see one’s hobbies or interests, before they possibly even see one’s gender in this day and age, they see skin color. That being said, many times, regardless of one’s status as “fully white” (as if there even is such a thing), a person experiences life, not as that person perceives himself/herself, but as others perceive that person. If one looks white, they’ll more likely have the experiences of a white person, and therefore citing that one black great-uncle that you may or may not actually be related to doesn’t somehow give you any more authority to comment on anybody else’s racial experience than any other white person.
There’s also a certain amount of irony here, because in my personal experience, when a white friend has listed out their “ethnic” background, they’ve listed nationalities from places in Europe. Don’t think too hard on that one. Also, it’s pretty ironic because many members of minority groups in the United States can’t list their complete ancestry with such ease, either due to the slavery or forced displacement of their ancestors.
9. “I went to school/worked with a lot of (insert nonwhite ethnicity here) people, and they always used to alienate me for being rich and white.”
Whenever conversations about race relations come up, there always seems to be a certain amount of fallacy involved that, somehow because people that are part of other ethnic groups are able to exhibit prejudice, somehow the effects of centuries of racism based on white supremacy are negated. Not to excuse bullying or prejudice on anybody’s end by any means, but there’s a major difference between the institutional racism experienced by people of color on a daily basis, and the small, albeit unfortunate, aggressions experienced by white Americans, and that difference boils down to history and power.
The long and short of it is that even with a black president, white people have held a position of dominance and privilege in this country (and because of colonialism, likely many parts of the world) for the past few centuries. Regardless of the circumstances of how you’re seen by your peers, when you take your work uniform or your school backpack off, you’re still part of a system that was built for, and therefore caters to you. You enjoy a position of privilege that they don’t, and therefore, short of physical violence, their opinions don’t hold much power. However, historically speaking, the issues of subtle institutional racism and micro-aggressions suffered by people of color come from a long, deep history of not only being made to feel inferior, but also being at the mercy of the system that was responsible for our oppression-a system that, however changed, still exists today. That’s the difference.
10. “You know what? I can’t even talk about this anymore!”
If the issue of privilege is still in question at this point, the ultimate way to test it is contingent upon whether you have the ability to walk away from these discussions or not. Through personal experience, I’ve noticed that many times when trying to have these conversations with white friends, at some point, they’ll get uncomfortable enough to just dismiss them, never once having given any thought to the importance of the attempted dialogue, instead only having been worried about the feelings of guilt or discomfort they provoked. At first, this was frustrating, but over time I’ve come to learn that they’re so dismissive because they can be. And it’s not really their fault. Unlike people of color, who have to live in a world where they must be cognizant of their race, who have to look up race relations in a country before traveling abroad, who have to question whether their hairstyle is “appropriate” when applying for jobs, white people, for the most part, have the luxury of pushing these issues out of mind if they so desire. They have the luxury of being “color blind” or not “making everything about race” because it genuinely doesn’t affect them in the same manner.
Of course, this is not to suggest that all white people are apathetic, and after having had these dialogues with many different people, its fair to say that there are some that might not quite “get it,” but they at least are making an attempt to. As elections draw closer and social media is being utilized much more effectively, people are showing their true colors much more blatantly. It’s important to remember that we all have differences, but that understanding of those differences is the only sure way to peace. Because of that, these conversations, however “inconvenient” they may seem, need to happen more frequently.
