Dating has changed enormously over time. It is much more complicated now than it ever was for my mom back in the 80s. For my mother dating someone actually meant they went on real dates with that person. Now, dating or going out with someone means we have a title, but does not mean we go on real dates with each other. I have never been on a real date with a guy that I did not already have a title with. I have never had a guy come up to my front door meet my parents and then take me somewhere. Most guys do not want to meet your parents until you have been dating awhile; it is honestly like pulling a guy’s teeth out to get them to meet your parents. The complexity of dating now is a headache. Before you “date” a person you have to “talk” for a few months, and if they do not want to commit then you may get stuck “talking” the whole relationship. You could date someone completely off your phone or Internet, and never really meet him or her. I wish dating would go back to the simplistic ways of the past.
Face to face conversation seem to be a challenging thing with my generation. We text for hours and hours on a daily basis, but get in person and it is just filled with awkward silence. Why is that so hard? We clearly know the other person, yet we can not say more than a handful of sentences to the other person. Communication skills are lacking in the dating world of my generation. People do find it easier to flirt and say things over texting that they would never say in person to someone’s face. The problem with texting is it does get awkward when you do get in person, and commonly there is misunderstandings with how you type sentences and the meaning behind it. I can not express how many times I have got in a fight with a guy because one of us misunderstood what the other was trying to say. When fighting with someone over texting it is also much easier to say hurtful things, because you do not have to say it to their face. I have friends that while we were in high school they were even afraid to call the other person, and simply have a conversation on the phone. Communication is lacking on so many levels.
Everything that was the building blocks of dating for many years has completely slipped out of our fingers as a generation: loyalty, communication, commitment, compassion, and caring. My generation has a terrible time committing. You can have all the good and bad with a relationship, but never really have a title on it. We call this talking. Talking can be the pre stages before dating, or it could be the whole relationship because they are afraid to commit and put a title with it.
“Netflix and chill” is a common date among the younger generations. It frustrates me to know that to my generation that is a “date”. I have been in relationships for months when I was in high school, and the guy would only take me on a real date for special occasions. I really do not mind staying in and watching a movie, but I think as a gentleman you should want to take your girl on a take and spoil her a little. I am not saying he needs to spend an outrageous amount on a date, but a simple outdoor picnic will do. It is about putting a little effort into the date to show that you care.
The “dating world” has grown in complexity with time. Young adults do not understand what dating use to be like, or what it should be like. I wish we could go back to the simplistic ways of dating, but as time goes on that seem less and less possible. I think parents need to start teaching their kids what dating should be, and how to be a lady or genletman to your signifficant other. The first time I went on a real date with a guy I honestly did not know how to react. I did not know if I needed to pay, or if he was spoiling me. Then when I talked to my mother later that night she told me that’s how dating was for her. A guy putting in enough effort to take you on a real date makes you feel special, and it shows how much the person really cares. Dating should be fun, and not super awkward. It is time we make it simplistic again.
