OK, I’m not here to preach to you about relationships, because well, everyone is dysfunctional in their own way. However, there are three fundamental keys to relationships that should be considered. It doesn’t matter if it’s boyfriends, spouses, or that weird in-between before two people actually define a relationship. Consider this: Are you compatible or comfortable? Sometimes we confuse the two. He may be the guy you’ve been crushing on since grade school, but don’t waste time on the relationship when the only thing holding you there is the fear of change. I am sure most of us can recall things that we have gone through that seemed like the end of the world, and look at where we are now. With that being said, these three essential points should be kept in mind:
You are treated exactly how you allow yourself to be treated.
No relationship is perfect. Regardless of how much of a romantic you may be, respect is one the most valuable commodities in a relationship. Tolerating disrespect will only result in more of it. Someone that respects you and is truly aware of how wonderful you are will find countless ways to honor you. Now, please don’t confuse this with bad days. Again, no one is perfect. But if you find yourself trying to consider where you are in a certain relationship, take the time to truly reflect on the way you are being treated, and the way you are treating the other person. I still believe in fairytales, people.
If you don’t know, you know.
We have all had butterflies over that high school crush, but if you find yourself trying to reflect on where you stand in the long run, give the future some serious thought. If you are uncertain, there is a reason. Of course, there are certain circumstances where things should be given a second thought, and I am on the campaign for second chances. However, don’t confuse uncertainty with procrastination of the obvious. Basically, if you just don’t know how to feel about the future with this new person, then you already know that “the one” is still somewhere out there.
What one person won’t, another person will.
Do you find yourself feeling unappreciated? Do you find yourself thinking, “Is this really it?” If you have pondered these questions, then I think you know the answer. Is he not taking you out on dates? Someone else will. He doesn’t like the way you dress? Someone else will think you are a trendsetter. She doesn’t appreciate all the little things you do? Someone else will think you are a prince. She doesn’t approve of your family? Someone else will be honored to become a part of it. If you find yourself staying in one place because you are comfortable, remember that what someone else won’t, another person most definitely will.
Don’t be afraid to step away from something you have always known because of fear of change. Maybe in the 1900’s it was understood to marry or form relationships for resources, but welcome to the beautiful, independent, and promising 21st century. Relationships are complicated. What works well for some may fall flat for others. For all of you gorgeous millennials that find yourself in a place of doubt in your relationship, remember that “Mr. Right” will never leave you compromising with what makes you… you. Remember that the "girl of your dreams” appreciates all that you do for her and it should never go unnoticed. Above all, remember that most times in life we learn more about ourselves from the most challenging circumstances.
